Twin Mind Jutsu
by Hikiri
Summary: Harper was considered crazy; after all it was impossible to dream of the future, right? One day a strange urge to help a man perceived as homeless ultimately brings her to a new world. There she slowly dies as the craziness that is her Bloodline destroys her from within. The only way to save her is a kinjutsu that links two peoples minds in an inseparable bond. Set after war.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have been sitting on this idea for quite some time and I hope that those of you who read it will like it. This is also my attempt at writing two separate fics at roughly the same time so be forewarned of that. I know the summary was weak and I am sorry for that. Please enjoy though. This is going to be OC/Gaara and yes it is a bit like those 'a fan gets dropped in their favorite anime' but give it a chance eh?**

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><p>Kankuro wasn't exactly sure why he was doing this for his brother. Sure it was a mission, and being the first ninja to be intentionally sent to the Spirit Away Dimension had a certain amount of prestige, but still.<p>

The Spirit Away Dimension. It had been years, but since the end of the war various shinobi from each of the five great nations had been disappearing only to reappear several days later. Stories from these shinobi, shared amongst the allied forces, told of a vast, sprawling village with buildings taller than those in Amegakure and carriages that moved without being pulled by beasts of burden clogging the road.

It seemed like a fantasy to the puppet user. A story told to little kids; a waking dream. But the five Kage had taken an interest in this other world. That only increased when a young man from the Hyuuga clan got Spirited roughly a year ago. The young man had reported that the majority of the village's unbelievably large population had barely any chakra; just enough to function in fact. He mentioned though, that there were people amongst the civilians who had drastically stronger amounts. Among them were individuals whose chakra flared as if some passive ability was firing off.

There had been talk since then of possible Bloodlines.

With this information came a rift in the Kage alliance; briefly. While the Raikage, Tsuchikage, and Mizukage felt that these potential bloodlines should be brought back by any means necessary and analyzed, the Kazekage and the Hokage both merely wished to make contact peacefully. One thing they could all agree on was that contact should be made. And so, a certain chakra fueled device was constructed with the aid of the Sharingan users of Konoha, who had put some study into the Kumai ability of the Mangekyo Sharingan, which would allow for travel to this other dimension.

The decision on which village would make first contact had been rough. Mifune, of the neutral Samurai faction, had been called in to help deliberate and things had gone downhill from there. After several days of arguing the Kazekage, Kankuro's younger brother, Gaara, stepped out of the race saying that even with all the tension, any one of the villages would be adequate ambassadors to this world.

Mifune, impressed by this, had decided that Suna should be chosen to send a representative. The Kazekage had chosen after a bit of deliberation to send Kankuro. So here he was. Kankuro knew he could have refused, after all, the device that sent him here was not perfect; it was dangerous. He could have died. But Gaara had such hope for this world. Kankuro wanted to help him hold out a hand to them. Gaara was his little brother after all.

And so there the puppet user stood, disoriented and put off, looking up at skyscrapers and cars though he didn't know that that was what they were called. He wasn't very good at discerning chakra. He wasn't the sensory type. This had been taken into account, but Kankuro had still been chosen. With that in mind he set off in a random direction, seeking a large building to get out of the cold.

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><p>It was snowing out. The small flakes, each more unique than the people they fell upon, would land and pile up; clustering into drifts and banks only to be plowed aside by trucks and shovels. The pure white snow would be tainted and darkened, grayed to the color and consistency of sludge by the pollution of the ever busy New York City. It was not the snows fault. It was merely the future set in stone by an ever evolving present. The snow had been damned; it fell in civilization after all, not a mountain or meadow.<p>

Such thoughts were atypical when the world looked like a slightly dirty, upended snow globe but it had been that way for some time. My thoughts were no longer as they used to be. But then again, who wouldn't question their own thoughts when therapists to teachers, even family, doubted how in sync with reality they were.

This was not one of those works of fiction I pored over to escape. There was no magic, no dragons and their slayers, no knights, no ninja. And above all else, there was no way for someone to glimpse the future in their dreams. No matter how badly they desired it. However, when it was like this, the city enveloped in the dancing snow making everything seem quiet even though it was still as noisy as ever, I remembered that last dream.

In all actuality it wasn't my _last_ dream; I woke up each morning with the feeling that I had dreamed, after all everyone dreams. But it was the last dream I could remember having. For some time after this realization I told myself the dream was real, that perhaps it meant something. But those thoughts had passed years ago. It was only times like these that I allowed myself the memory; when the snow drifted in nostalgic reminiscence of the sand that parted to reveal a carefully guarded face.

In a way, that dream was reassuring; a beacon that things could change, even though I long ago gave up on the concept of a man who could use sand to protect himself. In another way, it reaffirmed the shaky conviction that I was, in fact, insane.

It isn't that I fell in love with that man. Whoever he was I didn't know him from Adam and, even in a dream, I was no believer in love at first sight. It was more a sense of security. It was the feeling that the world could be going to Hell in a hand basket and even if he couldn't stop that descent he could make Hell itself into a sanctuary.

My therapist, for years, has been telling me such dreams are just cries from the subconscious for someone to make me feel safe and comfortable. A rock. She has been working with me to consider myself my own comfort.

My friends, however, tell me that my therapist is a bat shit crazy loon more full-of-it than a spokesperson for an endorsed advertisement. It is true that they may just be feeding me nonsense. They may be egging me on. But when we are face to face, my friends profess their belief in me.

Their belief in me; such a rare and difficult thing to come by. It made me want to be sure of myself, my words and my actions. _The seemingly important things I think of when it snows._ That was my thought right before this tiny snow globe world of mine was shaken, completely upended when, without warning the silence was broken.

The sound of an argument outside made me pause the anime I watched on my desktop. To be honest it was one of many such shows that I was already very familiar with. One of my friends, a smiling and motherly woman named Minnie, told me I would enjoy it. I don't know why I listened to her since I was normally doing my own thing, but some time into the first series of the two a young man was introduced who had red hair and protected himself with sand.

He wasn't the main focus of the story and had very little screen time on either series but watching this anime Minnie found for me made me calm and even if I didn't actively think about that last dream without the snow falling, the warm feeling was nice.

I was watching the episode where said red head fights the titular character of the show, Naruto before the sound of the woman who ran my boarding house screeching at some poor unfortunate at the top of her lungs in a shrill, coma inducing voice caught my attention.

I, as a rule, don't get involved with peoples' problems. Last thing anyone needs is some random chick coming up and getting nosey about things that don't have anything to do with her. The last thing my therapist needs is for me to rail on about someone else's problems for our weekly half hour session. The last thing I need is a headache.

But that strange thing happened. It's something that, to the best of my knowledge, doesn't happen to 'normal' people. Not like this. It was like déjà vu but stronger. Almost like something in my mind was seeing an event that wasn't happening. Like that portion was sectioned off and processing on its own. Somehow I could still function when this happened. I could still see with my eyes and hear with my ears. So with one set of ears I heard the Manager screaming at whoever was on the stoop and Mrs. Whittiker's dog down on the second floor barking away. With the ears that didn't exist I heard my own feet pounding down the stairs, the creak of the door as I pulled it open and the howl of snow-laden wind blowing past my face.

Most of the time I let this feeling pass. Even in situations where I could really make a difference I remained far removed from anyone else's problems, no matter what they were. How would I explain to someone, even if I just saved their life, how I knew what was going on or how to help? I had walked past more dire problems than a homeless guy needing a place to stay.

Knowing this, why were my feet still moving? I could hear the conversation before it even happened. I knew exactly the right responses to make. A flick of the wrist, a roll of the eyes. For the first time in my life, I just went along with the prompts and visions in my head and things worked out. Now, a full ten minutes later, some guy I had called Kuro in front of the manager was perched on the edge of my couch. He didn't look too worried about anything but I could imagine how freaked out he was considering some random girl just claimed to be his cousin.

"If that's the regular reaction to some crazy lady with a broom yelling at me I feel like I could get to like this place." He said after a decent length of time.

"First time in New York?" I asked thinking casual conversation was better than, 'Why the hell are you helping me?' When he hesitated I asked instead, "Or just new in general?" A lot of people came to the city for a fresh start.

"I'm not from around here," He hedged.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter where you're from or what your circumstances are, I still shouldn't let you freeze to death in a blizzard. I figure you can stay here up to three days, or at least that's what my contract says about visitors, so just sorta get comfy till this storm blows over." I felt like such an idiot for even suggesting it. Who invites a random stranger into their home for 'up to' three days? I was going to get killed in my sleep and this guy was going to be wearing a Harper skin suit.

The guy just looked at me, probably still curious to whether people were usually this accommodating in New York, so I added, "And no, people generally aren't this helpful anywhere." After a pause I added, more to seem slightly dangerous with the whole crazy factor, "It's snowing. I tend to do reckless crazy things in the snow such as helping a guy of questionable origin and history for no other reason than a memory that should be out of my head by now." Not only was it true, it probably made me seem sufficiently crazy to avoid a knife between my ribs.

The guy didn't seem bothered by it though. He must either be a real go with the flow kinda person or he had read one too many Mary-Sue fanfics. That or he was going to kill me anyway. It was really up in the air.

I had never done this before though. I had never helped someone, let alone letting a random stranger into my apartment. I had never gone along with the stupid hallucinations that seemed to pop up in crisis. All throughout my childhood I thought I was a super hero; that I had powers that could change the world. That only lasted until the real world caught up with me. I told my mother about the dreams I had when I was ten. She told me they were just dreams. After I began to insist that I really could see things about the future when I slept she got me help.

After another ten years, when I was twenty, the sporadic hallucinations began to crop up. I still hadn't told anyone about them but it was like when my adrenaline or sometimes just my interest was piqued I could almost see a step ahead of everything while still taking note of everything going on at the actual time. It was disorienting at first but over time I was able to adjust and live with it.

The guest I seemed to have acquired was gazing rather intensely at my computer; the screensaver was flashing picture after picture every ten seconds. There were some pictures on there of certain anime characters that would give the wrong impression of me though so I walked over and shook the mouse.

"I was just watching an old episode of Naruto if you want. It's subbed though so, unless you know Japanese you'll have to read."

"Naruto?" His voice was incredibly serious all of a sudden and I couldn't place why so instead I just explained the premise of the show.

"It's an anime…I guess you could say kind of like a cartoon from Japan though really that's kinda lame. The main character of the story is a ninja from this made up place called Konoha. Tells all about him, his life, his friends, there's this war in the second half of the series, Naruto Shippuden…think Shippuden means generations or something. This episode is about something called the Chuunin exams, which helps determine who deserves a promotion. Anyway, the main character is fighting someone named Gaara and… ah well, listen to me ramble. If you wanna watch that's cool if not sorry I won't be too entertaining." The guy stared at me like he was in a state of shock so I thought to reassure him. "It's obviously all make believe and fiction. Can you imagine ninja being real?"

With that last comment I moved my chair a bit and hit the space bar so that the scene of Naruto freaking out about thinking of something with claws and fangs began to play. We ended up watching several episodes that night. In fact, Kuro, whose name I still didn't ask, was so enthralled that I taught him how to use the computer so he could watch further as I fell asleep. I had both series downloaded in full so far so it would at least keep him busy.

Before I fell into oblivion I told him in a slightly loud voice, "I have to go to a friend's house for lunch tomorrow if you'd like. She has no problem with strangers and will feed you too." Without hearing a response I zonked out. Really, saving people was exhausting.

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><p>Kankuro just sat there. He watched more and more of the 'anime' as the large girl sleeping a few feet away called it. It was astounding to think that this dimension had any information on his home. It was perplexing though. He looked to the last little picture on the screen. She said something about a file and a folder and none of it really made sense…but having watched that …episode… It didn't show the end of the war.<p>

Somehow he didn't think things would be this easy. The girl, when she showed up, was burning through chakra as some seemingly passive ability continued to fire off and now, as she slept her chakra was being molded again. He wasn't sure why. He did know that it meant she had a Bloodline. He even had a timeline. Three days. He had to convince this woman to come with him in three days.

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><p><strong>AN Review if you like, it will help me to decide which fic i will be focusing more on and also let me know how this is.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for the delay I had a full sketched out idea of how I wanted this to go and I decided right before posting that I wanted to go at a different angle. I hope you enjoy it.**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

I woke up the next morning to light snores only slightly more obnoxious than heavy breathing coming from the man I 'rescued' yesterday. As soon as I shifted my legs beneath my comforter as I stretched, preparing to get up for the day, my guest stopped snoring and jolted awake on my couch. That was when I decided this guy was definitely not normal. There was also something vaguely familiar about him that I just couldn't place.

"Um, so, I'm going to go shower and everything. If you don't mind staying in here I'll show you to the house bathroom when I am done." I didn't mean to make it sound like an option but the whole stranger-in-my-room factor was hitting me slowly but surely and I was starting to freak out.

The man blinked in confusion, looking around as if he was in a strange new world and everything was amazing but bewildering. "Yeah, sure, take your time."

As I bolted out the door with everything I needed for my shower which, according to the rules of the boarding house, was limited to fifteen minutes I couldn't help but look over my shoulder. My guest was staring at my computer's background with a small smile that I didn't know what to make of. As the door closed the image, a collage of Gaara photos in the shape of the kanji for love with the words 'those who meet my eyes' 'all must die', switched over to my screensaver slide show. It was only after I felt the hot water of my shower spray down my back that I remembered some of the more risqué fan art on my hard drive.

_Too late now. It's not like anyone on there is actually real anyway._

Ten minutes later the issue was far removed from my thoughts and instead I was staring in the bathroom mirror with a frown. My hair, though still wet, was already curling out of control; even on the best day it floated around my head, wispy and almost smoke like. Eyes a shade reminiscent of dark chocolate and framed by rather average black lashes and eyebrows that were thin and only slightly arched drew the most attention whereas the rest of my features were distorted by extra weight.

Medications prescribed for grandiose delusions made me retain fat and that, paired with the fact that those same medications never allowed me to feel full, had, over the years, caused me to put on more and more weight until I was well beyond pleasantly plump. After having tried everything from diet fads to exercise regiments to not eating, defeat sunk in and I stopped caring.

_It will never get any better than this._ I told myself that every morning after I was dressed and ready for the day. It was my personal mantra of sorts; a reminder that dreams were dreams and reality was real. For a while I railed against this truth but now it was comfortable.

When I got back upstairs my comforter was over my monitor and 'Kuro' named thusly, I realized, because he was wearing all black, was huddled on the couch with his back to it. "I know I have some questionable photos on there but there aren't any nudes." I pointed out to him but he just lifted his head and stared at me like I grew seven more heads.

"Nudes?" He didn't sound curious like most guys would. He sounded embarrassed and indignant.

"Yeah, some weirdoes take it in their heads to draw different anime characters with _no_ clothes. From what I hear some of it can be quite…elaborate. I've never bothered looking it up though, it's a bit much for me." I tried to sound casual but really what kind of guy didn't show any interest in nudity. It was like he was shy to a whole new degree. _Wish more guys were like that. _"Anyway, lemme lead you to the bathroom. Like I said last night I'm going to my friends' house and I can't just leave you here so you can come or find somewhere to hang out or something. We will leave in a couple minutes."

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><p>Snow was still drifting down in light sheets of cold beauty when we got to The Warehouse. It really was a warehouse that Minnie and the others bought years ago and renovated in their spare time to make it livable. There were twelve people living there and I was one of many more that came over regularly. And somehow, just like every other time, as soon as I walked onto their property Minnie was popping her head out of the door. This time was unique in that she looked weary.<p>

The hesitant look passed and the woman's usual smile spread in greeting. She was tall and lean with blonde hair cut short and spikey and had eyes that seemed to change from blue to green depending on the day and her attire. "Harper! You brought a man? The world is ending. War is upon us and there is no salvation in sight, you know?"

I just snorted as a couple heads looked through windows in curiosity. Kurt came ambling out as if he were needed. "It's not like that, Minnie. He just needed a place to stay. It was snowing out." I told them knowing they would get what I meant. It was just one of those weird things about me.

"Harper, did it occur to you that he could be dangerous?" Kurt's brown eyes narrowed at Kuro.

I seemed to bring attention back to me as I spoke without thinking. "_It_ happened again. I just listened this time." They all looked at me with interest before Minnie pulled me towards the door. Kurt stayed behind and another friend, Nick, walked past us as we got to the door as he headed towards Kuro, a determined look on his face.

I knew I shouldn't be worried. Nick wasn't a violent person; in fact he was incredibly placid, but everyone was acting strange. Inside I could smell beef cooking in a stew and the heat of the building slowly spread into my toes and fingers. After a moment three of the other girls living in The Warehouse walked over brimming with questions.

"Who is he?"

"He's kinda hot, don't you think?"

"What's his name?"

Ignoring these questions would do no good and would only give to birth to even more annoying questions. "I'm not sure. He's not my type. I call him Kuro, not sure what his real name is, never asked." The answers came out rapid fire and I just stood there in the lobby like atrium waiting for more pointless questions that I couldn't answer anyway.

Two of the three tended to catch me off guard and it was vivacious and flirty Jane who giggled at my answer to her question. "Of _course_ he's not your type. You have a thing for red heads."

Yaya picked up from there, "But only if they can control sand. How can you not know who he is if he came with you?"

"He didn't do anything to you did he?" Kelly, the third woman of the hair dye brigade asked. Kelly had blue hair with black roots showing through, Yaya used orange hair dye, though sometimes she would go green, and Jane had hair so platinum it looked white. Jane and Yaya were ridiculously curvy and often wore clothes I didn't have to be wearing to cringe at. Kelly was small in every way. Some people confused the poor girl for a teenager.

"No, we just watched Naruto for a while and then I feel asleep. I think he watched for some time after. Sides, who would do anything to…" I was silenced by four very protective glares. My friends always told me a person was not measured by their weight but that was easy for them to say when they were all skinny.

"Well come eat some stew, the boys will be along shortly." Minnie took my hand in hers and made her way towards the kitchen. Looking out the window set in the door I didn't see Nick, Kurt or Kuro. Instead I saw another one of my friends heading towards the shed, Isaac, who was also very quiet. He was contemplative. I would never suspect violence from him. Kuro would be fine.

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><p>As soon as they set foot on the property, Minnie knew something odd had happened. The man with Harper had training and more than that he had an affinity. People in this world did not have natural affinities. Of course, all this time they knew Harper would find a way to Minnie's home. To the place everyone she loved in this Warehouse considered home. A place they could no longer go to.<p>

Of course, Harper knew nothing of that. She didn't need to know. After all it would not do any good. The dead could not return to the places they lived in. That was the problem with being dead. This seemed different though, and whoever the man was Minnie knew the young woman she used as a surrogate daughter would be going soon.

And so Minnie popped her head out the front door and tried to put on a hesitant expression. It was difficult not knowing whether to be happy or sad but she was not one to be hesitant. Especially not when she knew that any one of the former ninja in this house could take on some next generation start up. Seeing who it was, the woman was glad they all wore Transformation Jutsu in this world. The man, a puppet user who happened to be the Kazekage of the 4th Shinobi War's older brother, would know quite a few of the people here.

_Proceed slowly._ She told herself. Minnie knew everything Harper had gone through after being born with a Bloodline Limit that reacted passively and she knew it had been like hell. That's why they professed such belief in the girl. That's why they pushed her, egged her on. She didn't belong in this world that hurt her. They, the dead ninja from another world, had to get Kankuro to bring her back. Even if it meant using genjutsu on her. Even if it meant making her hate them.

When her husband and another of the ninja came out she took it as her cue to bring Harper inside. She just hoped her husband wouldn't say more than was necessary. If he thought it was the right thing to do or even the kind thing to do he would say everything.

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><p>Lunch became dinner instead as hours passed before the guys came back. Kuro's face was surprisingly blank; like he was processing one too many things.<p>

"What did you do to Harper's little boyfriend Kurt?" Jane asked as everyone else in the room rolled their eyes.

"He is not my boyfriend." It was pointless to remind her but I tried anyway for his sake.

"Yeah that's cause your so _infatuated with…_" Yaya began only to fall silent at Minnie's fist colliding with the top of her head.

"You leave her alone about that." The motherly woman said sternly while Kuro watched as if he were analyzing every action.

"Yeah, don't be stupid Yaya," I agreed. "He's not even real so how can I have any attachment to him?" But Yaya just stuck her pierced tongue out while pulling down on her left eye.

Kuro cleared his throat before I could launch myself at the childish wench, bringing my attention to him. Twelve other people also faced him, their faces more serious than I had ever seen. Isaac nodded to Nick who returned the gesture. Jane and Yaya both looked more determined than I thought they had the mental capacity for and there were other reactions as well. Noah, a boy with red hair and round glasses who always sighed at Jane when she was her most provocative, was concentrating on everything happening, a leaf could fall outside and he would probably know. Cheerful, helpful Renee and her goofy but kind partner in crime Toby were glaring but they were also holding hands under the table to try to contain an excitement of some sort. Kelly kept closing her eyes like she was sending prayers. Steve and Ian, the two older gentlemen who could usually be found playing chess in the living room, had identical poses, arms crossed, chins against their chests. Minnie was the only one looking at me while Kurt just leaned against the dining room wall, his arms folded.

"I was told you would believe the information coming from me the most since I have the least reason to pick on you or trick you." Kuro told me. "But I was warned you would most likely not believe quickly. For starters, you only got half of my name right when you addressed me in front of your house."

"Half?" I couldn't help the question. What could 'Kuro' possibly be half of? But my mind began to make strange connections. Kuro didn't even know what a computer was. He looked so incredibly serious at the mention of Naruto. The anime from last night was almost too fascinating and the look on his face when he saw the Gaara background. "Kankuro…"

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><p><strong>AN: So that's the chapter. Kudos and cool points if you can guess who people are. Hope you enjoyed and hopefully I will update a bit quicker this next time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the subs. It makes me so happy. Sorry this chapter is a little short but I couldn't bring myself to add filler.**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

"Kankuro…" The name came out of my mouth before I could think it through. _'You would believe the information coming from me the most…_ _you would most likely not believe quickly._ "Impossible."

"Harper," Minnie spoke quietly but also warningly. Like a mother telling her daughter to behave and listen.

"What are you playing at! You! I trusted you! All of you! You never made fun of me! You never called me crazy! But now some _stranger_ comes over and you think it's funny?" Words that I didn't even mean to say came out vicious and angry as I shouted louder and louder. "You were my friends, but you betray me like…"

I don't know what it was but all of a sudden it was hard to breathe, as if some kind of pressure was clutching my lungs in a vice grip.

It was Kurt who spoke and for a moment I felt anxiety more than I have known in all my life. I was terrified at the look in his eyes that, for some reason were clearly blue and piercing instead of the brown I was so used to. "You, who have lived a sheltered and cosseted life away from pain and war and loss, have no right to speak of betrayal." I wasn't sure why but those blue eyes slid to Toby behind me. I was too scared to look back at the normally ridiculous guy's reaction.

Minnie raised her hand as if asking Kurt to stop something and with that movement the pressure I felt grabbing at every part of me vanished. When Minnie looked at me again she looked upset. When she was talking again I wanted to not listen. These guys were treating me like a fool. I mean I was crazy but I wasn't crazy enough to believe that some random guy who showed up on my doorstep was a character from an anime.

"Harper," Minnie caught my attention simply and didn't let it go. "Don't think too much on this but I had a son your age. I never got the chance to know him personally but this world is truly a strange and wonderful place and I got to learn so much about him. That's why I treat you like a daughter, and as a woman who treats you as your mother should I am begging you to listen. You are not crazy. You never were. You were born with a Kekkei Genkai. A Bloodline Limit unlike anything I have ever heard of."

"Stop it…" But my words were weak. I was losing my anger. What was I supposed to do? I didn't want to believe I was special. Not anymore. I wanted to float through life never settling on who I was. Looking out the window I saw snow; the snow that made me reckless and spontaneous. It reminded me so thoroughly of that dream. The person in that dream; the one who could make Hell itself a sanctuary.

As if reading my thoughts, Yaya giggled. "He is real," she asserted.

"That's no reason to go to some other world," I said curtly.

"Dimension." Kankuro finally spoke up to say that one word.

"Come again?" I didn't quite get the difference.

"It's the same world. The land masses and bodies of water are different, I think, but it's like a coin. Two sides. Though there are a bunch of dimensions so a coin might not be the best example. Everything is connected though." His explanation made no sense to me but I nodded like I understood.

"You're going, though, you know." Minnie said softly and, for the first time, I realized that that made her sad. "We always knew you would. The day you told us that dream…you were so convinced it was real. And that's because it is. After all, people aren't born to do particular things but once set in motion certain things cannot change."

"There is no destiny, only fate." I quoted. I don't know where the words came from besides an anime wallpaper on my computer but I did like the saying. "What about you guys?" A part of me was sure they would come along too. I was positive that they would all fit well.

They all looked to Kurt for an answer and he sighed, a favorite habit of his. "We can't. It's not our place anymore."

My head snapped up at that. The logical conclusion would be that their place was no longer with me, that that is what he meant. But logic stopped running its course with conversation at the start. "You…" I began, but Jane interrupted me.

"We are going to miss having you around."

"Oh, please! You'll find some hot guy to comfort you and then drink yourself to sleep," I scoffed.

"I'm serious." And for once she really sounded it. I felt bad for brushing her off at that.

"Maybe I can visit." I looked at Kankuro hopefully but he just shrugged.

"That depends on a lot of things. I'm guessing the other Kage will want to try and scoop up some of the Bloodlines here but there is no guarantee that you'll come back. I would advise you to keep that in mind." I gave him a strange look. _Wasn't he supposed to be convincing me to go with him?_ He answered the look by saying, "I'm under orders from the Kazekage to make the situation clear. It would be unfair to swindle you into coming to Suna under false pretenses and then not let you come back. To avoid that I was told to be upfront."

"So," I figured this was the Q&A portion of the discussion, "what am I going to be doing? Am I going to be a lab rat?"

Kankuro snorted. "As if Gaara would allow that. If you want you can become an ambassador or liaison of sorts or, if you can handle it, you're welcome to ninja training. If you qualify that is."

All of a sudden I was all too aware of my weight and lack of agility. It would be dangerous being a ninja but as I thought on it something came to mind. The hallucinations…were these visions something that would help in combat? They occurred when I was in danger or intrigued by something and showed what would happen after one move. It wasn't the same as showing a second in the future so if a guy was going to shoot someone I would see that no matter how long it took to pull the trigger.

It would be difficult to base combat on something that wasn't a definite time period though. I would need something to time it. "I have one more question," I said with a smile, "What do your electricity plugs look like?"

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><p>Kankuro was standing in the small living space I was allocated at the boarding house with a small frown on his lips. "So you want to take this thing with you?" He pointed at the computer by my window like it was evil and it made me wonder what picture on there was so disturbing to him.<p>

"And a couple other things if that's possible." I agreed.

"What else?"

"Clothes,"

"We have those at Suna," he reminded me.

"Not like mine." My grin was impish. "I also need these three things." I pointed at my iPod, headphones and iPod dock.

"Need?" That caught his attention.

"Need." I asserted.

"How are those three things life or death?" He wasn't buying it.

"It could be." I didn't really feel like explaining another mechanic of something that I thought made me crazy until not so long ago.

"Alright, I'll take your word for it." He did not sound enthusiastic.

"Compromise," I declared. "These three and the computer. I can make my own clothes."

"Deal."

We decided leaving immediately was the best option. Kankuro explained on the way home that the device he used to get to this dimension would only be active for another two days but that going home at the last second was dangerous. In fact the later he stayed the more dangerous the return was as it ran on an independent chakra supply; basically if the device ran out of juice he was stuck here or in limbo which is why he didn't want to bring a lot back.

"There is no turning back." His warning was getting old as some excitement began to pour into me.

"I won't regret this." The words came out like a prayer. My thoughts flashed to Minnie and the others briefly but I promised them as I left for the last time that I would find a place to belong. With that promise in mind along with the heart felt sentiment that things could get better and dreams could be reality I took one last look at the room, which in retrospect was more of a prison than I imagined, without any remorse before nodding to Kankuro.

The puppeteer pulled a small box out of his pocket. From within that box he pulled a sphere the size of a gumball which he placed on each item I requested to bring in turn, each time he would make a series of hand signs and then go to the next. Finally he came to me.

"Hold on tight," I think I would have even if he hadn't said to; there was something terrifying about being caught between dimensions, though it might not be as bad as I thought. With the sphere held in his left hand he made half signs with his right. Tiger, Dog, Dragon, Tiger.

The four electronics began to glow like blue flames. Kankuro was also glowing so I assumed I was too. The fire changed to a green color as I felt him grip my shoulder more firmly. Finally the chakra that I thought of as flames turned to the red of a Tailed Beasts and I felt as if the world was lunging under my feet. Everything was dark and a strong sense of vertigo slammed into me before there was suddenly a brilliant sunset outside the window of whatever room I was in.

Before I could get my bearings Kankuro released my shoulder and I fell forward. My fall was broken by a wall of sand and as the sand parted to reveal a neutral and carefully guarded face I felt the strangest sense of déjà vu in my life before I jumped away as well as I could in shock.

I just fell on Gaara.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So for the record words that are **_**Underlined and italicized **_**are thoughts between two people. Sounds weird now I know but just keep it in mind throughout the story.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

Two months passed in a flurry of movement for me. The day I arrived in the Kazekage Tower I let Kankuro explain the things he knew and surmised about my Bloodline and when asked what I would like to do in Suna I admitted to the floor that I wanted to be a ninja.

Temari had smirked at that statement and, considering I just fell on her brother for no reason, I would say I understood the sentiment but Gaara just nodded thoughtfully and told me I had three months to gain stamina, muscle and agility. At least enough to work off of. Since then I have been constantly working to improve my physical health.

To me, being a ninja was a way to atone for all the people I didn't help out of fear of judgment. As a ninja I could help a lot of different people. Most of the time that was the only thought that kept me going. The only people here in Suna that I talked to regularly were Temari and Kankuro. Gaara was usually too busy for much else but work but he was at least polite to me in the hallways of the Kazekage Tower. Everyone else here either shunned me or showed open hostility. At first I thought it was because I was an outsider but I was slowly beginning to wonder if it was a concentrated effort.

There was something far worse than not being acknowledged going on though.

The Bloodline Limit that ultimately brought me here was not reacting well to this new dimension. It was slowly killing me. From what I understand now, the visions of the future are a result of natural energy subconsciously gathering and pooling in the Gate of Opening, or the first gate, without opening it. The problem is that the natural energy of this dimension is thicker than what my chakra pathways were used to back home. It would be like comparing Kool-Aid to wine. Because there was too much density and power in this dimension's energy and because my mind wasn't able to limit or filter that energy while I was sleeping the energy clogged my pathways.

When such dreams came to me here I woke in so much pain it felt like my flesh was melting and my bones were on fire. Due not only to the pain but the fact that my pathways clogged completely I was unable to do anything. Not thrash, not scream, not cry. The first time I experienced this, the pain lasted three hours until Gaara woke up. I was lucky because not only was I given a room in the Kazekage's family quarters for convenience and so the siblings could keep an eye on me, but the Kazekage woke up at four am every day.

From what he said my chakra was so out of control that even the most novice sensory ninja could have detected that something was wrong. The pain subsided after Gaara slapped a seal on my forehead and did some sort of fancy ninja work to calm my chakra flow. Since then Temari agreed to sleep lightly so she could wake up at the start of an onslaught but even with this counter measure things were getting worse. The last time I had a dream like that I was unable to move my body for three hours.

But right now I was running. It helped me build stamina and endurance to run for as long as possible every day. In the beginning I could only last ten minutes I was so out of shape but now I was heading home after three and a half hours at my top speed. I think it's something in the air but my health was improving at a ridiculous rate. It might also be the natural energy my mind gathered on its own both in my sleep and when I was interested or intimidated.

"Hey!" The voice of a child caught my attention. "Hey fatty! Yeah you, the one running."

Sighing I stopped my forward movement and turned to the sound. On my left stood Suna's Academy and standing in front of it were a handful of children. It was after school hours so I imagined they were training.

The kid who shouted in the first place looked to be around twelve years old. He had long brown hair and hazel eyes. In addition to that he wore a mask over the lower half of his face and the way he stood spoke of skill and the fact that he knew his abilities all too well.

"Why is a fatty like you always running around?"

I wasn't overly thrilled with the adjective he used considering the past two months saw me lose close to seventy pounds but this was the first interaction I had had with anyone aside from the sand siblings so even if it was a bunch of rude kids I decided to answer the question.

"I'm increasing my stamina, which I'm gonna need when I start training."

"Training? But you're so old! What would someone as old as you need training for?"

"To become a ninja." My answer was simple and so was theirs. They laughed at me like what I said was grade A comedy.

"You want to be a ninja? Quit kidding around." The kid shouted.

A small girl to the left of the loud mouth stepped forward with a shit eating grin. "I heard Matsuri-sama say that you're leeching off the Kazekage."

The loud mouth looked to her before grinning as well. "I heard that too from my sister. Tell you what freeloader, you beat us all and I'll believe you. It's not like you have anything to lose since freeloaders have no pride anyway. 'Sides there's no way an adult qualified to train would lose to kids like us."

"I'm not about to hit a kid." I told him bluntly, and as my vision fired up with an image of the punk calling me a coward, I continued because really, they might be kids but they would be comrades one day if I managed to get into training and having their respect might matter one day. I also wanted to see if I could take them on at once. "But you guys can try and hit me all you like."

* * *

><p>"You're sure this is the only way?" Temari and her brothers had spent the past two months searching for a way to save Harper from her own Bloodline. At first they thought to send her home, but for some reason the girl had declined the offer even knowing that staying here could mean her death.<p>

Gaara just nodded to answer her question.

"There is a reason it's a forbidden jutsu Gaara," Kankuro reminded his younger brother.

"I am aware. For it to even be successful we need to find someone compatible according the jutsu's requirements and even then they have to have some chance at surviving the further bonding that occurs six months after the jutsu is activated. Until we find someone we can keep looking but…"

"Gaara-sama!" The Kazekage let out a near silent sigh of exasperation as one of the girls who never seemed to understand his intentions, or lack thereof, burst into the room without knocked and no regard for the privacy the siblings asked for.

"Matsuri-" Temari began only to have the girl interrupt her.

"Gaara-sama, it's terrible! That horrible woman went berserk and is fighting a bunch of academy kids! Who knows what will happen if we don't hurry. I told you she was dangerous."

Gaara stood slowly. "They are at the academy, you said?"

"Yes, we should hurry, she –"

"I assure you the students are not in any danger. Harper is most likely dodging everything she can and not throwing punches. She isn't the type to hurt her future nakama. I will check it out nonetheless; it seems like a good opportunity to gauge her abilities. Temari, Kankuro if you would join me?"

It took less than a minute for the four of them to reach the academy where seven children sat exhausted on the sandy ground. Another five were still taking swings at Harper though more often than not they threw punches at one another and got in each other's way.

Gaara watched the lack of teamwork displayed with disappointment. It seemed odd to him that even though the opponent had a Bloodline twelve students could not land a single hit on someone who didn't even think ninja were real two months ago.

After a few more minutes the five remaining students began to bicker and fight each other instead of their common enemy. Thus relieved of her fight Harper looked up at the sun, which was just about hidden behind the cliff surrounding Suna before turning. She was about to start her running back up but spotted the four ninja who stood observing and walked over.

* * *

><p>"Gaara," I acknowledged, bowing my head slightly in I figured seemed deferential.<p>

"It's Gaara-sama you little-" Matsuri began only to be interrupted by the Kazekage's raised hand. Gaara himself had yet to complain about the lack of formality in my address so I saw no need to change it.

"Harper, you know where the training grounds are, correct?" He asked. His face didn't give anything away but I nodded, not worried. "Please go to training ground one tomorrow at this time. Someone will meet you there in regards to training. Perhaps it was a waste waiting three months after all."

I smiled at that. "Sure thing Gaara!" And before Matsuri could reprimand me I was off again.

* * *

><p>Gaara Point of View<p>

_Oi, Gaara-brat!_ The familiar voice resonated through me and I knew I was in for nothing but trouble.

_Shukaku?_ There were only so many things that crazy raccoon needed and, or wanted to say and it never, ever ended well.

_I got a deal for you._

_This should be interesting. _I kept the thought to myself and before I could stop him the Ichibi plucked at my consciousness, depositing it into the mindscape we shared.

It was a vast desert, and unlike last time Shukaku was sealed in me he had no chains or bars or unpleasantness. Instead a large oasis with a sparkling pool of clear water gave a refreshing atmosphere to the place and the sun was never too hot and the nights never too cold.

"I really wish you would at least ask before dragging me in here." I told him now that I could use my voice.

"Geeheehee" His laugh was as obnoxious as ever, "It's not as fun that way kuzo."

"You said you had a deal?" I don't know why, maybe because of all the time he was with me before the war but I enjoyed Shukaku, even if he was a bit unstable.

"Hehe, yeah. For your sleep requirements." Shukaku and I had an arrangement that if I met a number of requirements that ranged from the temperature of the room I was in to how dark or quiet it was he wouldn't erode my personality and mind when I fell asleep.

"Oh so this is not optional I take it?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes, an action that only this guy ever managed to pull out of me.

"Nope, non-negotiable." He was grinning from ear to ear. I knew he was waiting for me to ask, but since he was probably doing this to annoy me two could play his games. "Aw you're no fun kid! Well I'll tell ya then. I am taking all prior arrangements away. But before you go and look all shocked and grateful I gots another one I am putting in."

"Just one?" I had a real bad feeling about this.

"Just the one." He seemed a little too smug. "You gotta be in the same room as that girl you can't touch if you want to sleep."

I felt my jaw popped open in shock. Another reaction only my bijuu partner could get out of me. My reaction was not only due the audacity of the overgrown sand dune but also that he even noticed such a situation when normally he didn't bother noticing the outside world.

It started a month ago and I couldn't understand why, but anytime I got too close to Harper in anyway, be it in a crowded hallway or if we happened to reach for the same thing, my the sand that inherited my mother's will would react and form a barrier between us. I avoided such circumstances because I didn't want to establish too thoroughly that she was a threat, especially when I didn't know why she was. It might not be responsible as a Kage to not deal with such things as they come up, but something concerned me about it. I hadn't even told Kankuro or Temari which was more unlike me than anything else.

And now Shukaku was placing this new requirement on me. _He really is the most evil being I know._

"Geeheehee don't look at me like that kid. It might do you good to get lose to someone. Lord knows you're old enough to mate. I'm doin you a…" The glare I sent him was unintentional but it shut him up.

"Non-negotiable right?" I said through gritted teeth.

"That's right kuzo. You're stuck with it." But his smile was not as wide and his eyes more cautious.

"Is that all?" I hadn't parted with Shukaku on such poor terms in years.

"You got it, heehee." And I was gone.

The Ichibi really was a pest.

**A/N: Bit of a time skip but I couldn't think of many things to make a full chapter out of from those two months in my head. Unfortunately starting a story was never my strongest suit but once I get going its usually ok!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I got stuck about halfway through on how I wanted to connect things and I was despairing but then it came to me and all was good. I hope you guys are still reading. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

I wasn't sure why but the Kazekage himself was at the training grounds the next day. He just stood there with his arms folded across his chest and an unreadable expression. I was just on time but jogging up to the small area I felt late under the calculating eye of the Kage.

Gaara was the first to speak when I stopped in front of him. "No one can know about your Bloodline for the time being, so for practicalities sake you will be trained by myself and my siblings. None of us are your sensei. Not in an official way at any rate. As things stand, I will be assisting you in taijutsu and weaponry, Kankuro will be helping you with chakra control and Temari will be going over ninja basics."

He paused and I nodded in understanding.

"Please watch carefully then. I will go through the katas of Suna's basic academy style."

But as I watched something altogether new happened and again that strange dual vision occured. My body seemed stuck between rigid and fluid states but the oddest thing was that my eyes, which remained open and unblinking felt extremely unusual. It was like they were throbbing.

All I know was that I had been watching the katas intently but as I watched I began to try to figure out what the next move would be. All of a sudden my mind began to branch off over and over. Every possible future that could happen popped up from the last kata I saw and then from each of those visions all of the futures attached to them also came forth. Futures came faster and faster, some fizzling out some becoming more prominent. Not only did I see the whole kata for the Suna basic academy style but I saw futures where I branched off and started practicing different styles.

In the end I collapsed having seen several months in advance of taijutsu training.

Three days later I woke up in the hospital and Temari was summoned by the nurse tending to me as the Kazekage requested upon my awakening. "You scared us pretty good there, kid." She said cheerfully. I just looked up at her, not quite sure what to say. The nurse left when Temari sent her a look and the fan user sat down on the edge of my bed. "So, what did you see?"

I took a moment to really make sense of things. _What had I seen?_ "It was almost like scan." I told her after some time. "All of a sudden I could see failures and successes not only for me learning basic taijutsu but also as I continued on into more advanced forms."

"All the success and failure?" I could almost feel her confusion.

"It was kind of like a growing tree." I tried again. "Each event would branch into other possible events which would show the continuations that could occur from those situations over and over sometimes the branch would stop or fade away…I think that was if the situations lost relevancy to what I originally wanted to know, but it felt like those were still possible futures."

Temari's eyes widened. "So it's a wide array of things that _could_ happen. Is there any definite way to discern the future with this ability?"

"I don't know. On first glance, however, it seems unlikely." I frowned. "I think I should say though... I am almost confident I learned the different styles just from that. I think I can use the taijutsu from those futures. I might need some time to commit it all to muscle memory to be fight ready, but I am not sure if my body needs that or not. It might already know how to fight."

The kunoichi's eyes widened almost imperceptibly for a moment before narrowing again. "Do you think that that would work for anything?"

As much as I wanted to be able to say 'yes it could,' I didn't know so I just shrugged before correcting the rude habit. "I think I would have to be able to activate it first. This is not something that has happened before."

"Work on that first then." Temari said tersely. "We will figure out useful applications once consistency has been established." I tried not to show my distaste for the reminder that I was essentially a military asset and little else but at the slight narrowing of my eyes Temari huffed. "Right now I have to be Temari: Advisor to the Kazekage so I have to say it like that. I don't think either of my brothers think that way and neither do I. Gaara has been worried the whole three days you've been out and Kankuro is all sorts of jumpy."

"They still don't know how far it's gotten right?" Since Temari was the only one who saw the aftermath of the dreams I begged her each time to keep the rapid decline a secret from the already busy Gaara and also from Kankuro who was already feeling a disproportional and misplaced guilt that my health was so dangerously affected by the energies of this world.

"I haven't said anything to either of them, or anyone else." Temari bit her lip in a calculated effort to show she was hiding something. A kunoichi with as much experience as she had would not let such cues show without meaning to. Of course that also meant that if she was giving hints like this she couldn't just come out and say what was on her mind. Two months ago I would not have picked up on such an act but I like to think I learned quickly.

The question is: what was she hiding? It wasn't that they knew. There would be no reason to keep that from me. Was there still no hope for a solution? Was there a solution coming? I couldn't begin to guess without running the chance of getting my hopes up. All in all she was most likely displaying this unease to assuage her own sense of guilt at having to keep a secret about me from me. That or she was screwing with my head for fun. That kind of seemed like a Temari thing to do.

As quickly as the show of hesitation appeared it was gone and Temari was up from her perch and calling the nurse back in for clearance that would let me leave the hospital. The nurse came in with a grumpy frown and gave me a once over with hard eyes before jerking her head in a wordless command to get the hell out.

I followed Temari out of the room, down a short hallway and out into the arid heat of the desert but walking down the sandy main road at any time was just asking for stares and try as I might I couldn't ignore the almost burning glares shot at me by a handful of different people, ninja and civilian alike. Somehow it seemed worse than usual and the assumption that this treatment stemmed from the fact that I was an outsider was losing face. The problem was I didn't even know anyone to make an enemy out of or because of.

Then again the academy students I 'fought' mentioned that lovely, lovable Matsuri was being unkind and running her mouth. I mean yes, technically I was freeloading but it was more like I was an invited guest.

The other villagers seemed to be extremely fond of, and in fact borderline devoted to, the woman so if she wanted them mad at someone I don't think many would question it. The problem I couldn't figure out was her motives. I barely spoke to her. Hell I barely spoke to anyone. Just Temari, Kankuro and still only sometimes I would exchange a few words with Gaara…who I didn't call by a respectful title…

God damn it!

_Hey Matsuri, junior high called. They want their drama back._ This was ridiculous. I had to be wrong on this. First off how old was she? I mean I don't know an exact age but really, at least twenty now right? Aside from that and despite how many people shipped them back home unless she and Gaara were being sneaky for some ungodly reason Matsuri wasn't snagging her dream man anytime soon.

"Um, excuse me…" The small, mouse-like voice interrupted my thoughts a second before a light hand tapped my shoulder hesitantly.

Behind me stood a woman who could only be described as average. She was not short but she was not tall. She was not skinny but she was not thick. There was some muscle to her but not a lot. Her brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail and the grey eyes that gazed a bit too intently at me for someone who was so timid held a hint of gentleness that seemed too soft for a kunoichi. The woman displayed a Hitai-ate across her forehead though, so she was definitely not a civilian.

"Um, are you Harper-san?" Her voice seemed ridiculously timid as she avoided eye contact.

"Yeah, how can I help you, Kunoichi-san?" At that she caught my eye for a brief moment before looking away again.

"My name is Sena, but – um…I am an assistant sensei at the academy and there are several students in the class I assist that talk often of the new villager that they fought but couldn't land a hit on. The students don't work well together but they seem to be uniting in the cause of defeating you." She paused and glanced at me apologetically and I had a feeling she wasn't here to warn me. Unexpectedly she bowed to me. "Please, for the sake of the future generation of Suna's forces, come spar with them regularly so that they may learn teamwork against a common enemy. Uh, if that's ok."

I almost didn't expect this woman, Sena, to string that many words together coherently but really I was thrilled at the notion. It would help me improve my sight to hand to eye coordination and give me some sort of interaction with _someone_, even if it was just a bunch of snot nosed kids.

"I would love to." My sincere smile seemed to startle her and I wondered what sort of reputation I was gaining through the voice of another. "We should get the Kazekage's if you haven't yet," I said after a moment of thought. "Last time was spur of the moment and it seems Matsuri-san thought I was attacking the children."

I was relieved when Sena huffed before looking around nervously. "That girl!" Her tone was as scathing as I think she could manage. "Should we go submit a request now then?"

I chuckled inwardly at how quickly she switched back to the nervous but proper woman again. "Lead the way please.

I was trying to relax much later that night when a soft knock sounded on the door to my borrowed room. I wasn't skilled at all in identifying people by their chakra signatures and it would be rude to just yell 'come in' so I slipped off the surprisingly comfortable bed and padded to the door. A small glimpse of who would be standing there made me hesitate but in the end it would be inexcusable to make him wait.

"Hey Gaara," my voice was casual as I swung the door open. "Is my music too loud or something?"

He gave me a long confused look before titling his head as if to catch the sounds flowing from my iPod dock. "This is music from your home?"

"Yeah. There are all sorts…rock, rap, country, classical, R&B…you name it though just hearing the names of different genres is probably confusing, but this is only a selection of music I really like." But of course, as I said that a song I was not overly fond of came on. "One sec." I told him before flitting off to change the song that was too slow for my mood.

As it turned out a few songs played through before either of us spoke.

"Temari told me about the new ability that blossomed." He told me in a gentle tone.

I paused, unsure. "Was that a play on words, Gaara?" When he just stared at me somewhat contemplatively I sighed. "I told Temari a stupid analogy about a tree and you said blossomed." Still no reply. Either he thought I was an idiot or he was laughing inside at my expense.

The sudden realization that a blatantly sexual song was playing in the background of our conversation had me jumping to change it, blushing the color of a ripe tomato. It probably was not wise to be sitting in a room alone with someone I used to fangirl over (granted I didn't know he was real at the time) with a song _that_ playing for any reason.

"Your dimension is interesting, I'll give it that." Gaara mused and I knew now that he was highly amused. "Are such explicit songs truly considered entertaining there?"

"Sometimes," I admitted begrudgingly.

"There was another form of entertainment that Kankuro explained to me. A form of moving drawings called 'Anime.' He led me to believe there were stories about this world available through this art form." He by no means sounded like anything but the Kazekage; gone was the friendly word play and hidden amusement in favor of an aura as cold and hard as steel.

While the transition was a bit startling I gratefully took the conversation change. "I have the series, it is called Naruto after the main character of the show, on my computer. It would be a long time before you watched everything there though and," here I paused. How was I supposed to deny Gaara, who was most definitely standing here in his official rank as Kazekage, the use of my computer because I was tired? I want to concede to his wish because aside from the minor fangirl flutterings I found myself suppressing he was the leader of the village I found myself in. Defying him in any way was suicidal.

Gaara was not stupid though. "If it would be acceptable I will watch quietly and you may rest. I have reason to believe my hearing is far more acute than yours."

At that I blushed. To me it was a subtle pointed remark at the music and how loud it got from time to time but all in all I might have been reading into it. As it stood I couldn't deny him. If I tried to think of anything else he could at least feign insult to the insinuation that I didn't trust him to be in my room while I slept. I didn't know much but he wasn't the type to accost a woman and if I had to say one way or another he seemed too socially awkward to know how to do something like that.

My computer was positioned near the single window in my borrowed room and as I waved at it unceremoniously at it I realized that Gaara did not know how to work the machine. And so as I booted the computer up, (it couldn't stay running because it would drain power) a realization that I should have changed my background made me cringe. It still had the Gaara love kanji image.

_That's embarrassing._ But he didn't seem to notice or mind and instead listened as I gave him a rundown on double clicking and silently prayed to any god that might exist in this dimension that the screen saver did not pop up.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ahhhh took so long to update sorry guys. I am still trying to figure out how to ration my time with these two fics. This one is taking a back seat more than I would like unfortunately.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

Gaara Point of View:

Aside from the main story and casual references of Konoha's history I found another shocking revelation in this 'anime'. The language that Harper called 'Japanese' was what we used as ANBU code. As such I was able to watch without reading the flicker of words on the bottom of the screen. The story was generally about Naruto, as the title would suggest, but it was more than a little fascinating in any case. It felt like a betrayal of trust to watch about the intimate happenings of my friend's life though so I began to skip around.

Kankuro told me which episodes held the Chuunin exams from so long ago and to be honest that intrigued me more than some battle over a bridge. I tried not to think too much on what I was like back then. Nothing could change the past no matter how desperately someone wanted to and so dwelling on it only granted sorrow, but a part of me was a bit of a masochist because I wanted to see how people saw me. I wanted to relive the terror in their eyes to remind me that this was how I was.

After a few episodes though, the accumulated sleepless nights that spanned weeks now caught up to me and for once I could almost bless Shukaku for making things so simple. I only had to be in the same room after all. With that in mind I folded my arms into a pillow and fell asleep at Harper's desk.

The rest was refreshing despite the uncomfortable position I slept in but as I woke up I felt a rather undignified sound leave my mouth. On the screen was a hand drawn picture of me with a sleeping kimono opened at the chest. I was half propped on a bed. But the true shock was the words printed cleanly on the bottom of the picture; white against a plain black background. Gaara-sama: a name you want to scream all night long.

Before I could truly process this, the picture changed and I was looking at another drawn picture of one of the men who killed me in unusual clothes. For some reason the sight of the blonde made my heart hurt. I knew he was dead so it wasn't any type of fear; instead it was like when the children from my younger years would spurn me. Yashamaru called it a wound of the heart all those years ago.

The picture changed again and I was there again back to back with Naruto.

It was a strange collection of images. Looking out the window behind me I gauged that it was close to the time I usually 'woke up' so I quietly left Harper's room and slipped into mine. Why was I sneaking around?

* * *

><p>Harper Point of View:<p>

It was much later in the day than usual when I woke which was odd for me to think. I would guess it was around six in the morning; this room didn't have a clock but the sun looked to have been up for an hour now. Back home I would sleep well into the afternoon. Something was changing in me. And it wasn't something as shallow as waking up early in the morning or losing weight though such things were occurring as well.

All my life I was a shifting personality. Sometimes I was cheeky, sometimes I was polite, no matter who it was I always had a different way of acting around one person compared to another. I couldn't focus on just being me because the person I was seemed mentally ill to others. I always gauged my actions based on how others would react. Even among the cherished friends I left behind I felt untrue to myself. I think they knew though.

Today was supposed to be a good day though. I stopped caring about looking like a citizen of Suna an easy week after arriving and started modifying the clothes provided to me in small ways until, with the amount of weight I lost almost constantly, Temari managed to acquire materials to make clothing. Now, I had _no _idea how to sew a whole new garment so I told myself that I would apply this new scan thing I could do to learning how to. I was sure I would activate it today. But first, running.

I ran around the village twice before heading to the training grounds to practice the katas I now just seemed to know. I wanted to see if my body could actually do them or if I just knew the form and had to force myself through the paces. With training ground one open I went into the stance Gaara sank into for the first step of the academy basics and moved through the set easily. Everything was clockwork. It was as if I had experienced those several months I saw and learned from the mistakes therein. As if on auto pilot I went into the more difficult style I saw myself doing in that scan. These movements were not as well memorized and I stumbled a few times as I went through the katas by route.

It was a very insightful exercise though, and I was relieved. There was so much I needed to learn and not enough time to learn it. If I could cheat like this I would. Now I just needed to activate it willingly. That I would do by learning sewing. Nice, safe, simple sewing.

So I went back to the Kazekage Tower and tried it.

And tried.

And tried.

Nothing was working.

So I tried more.

And more.

Lunch came and went and I still sat the floor of the living room of the Kazekage's living quarters with a sewing needle, thread and fabric sitting in front of me uselessly. I had some music, rap this time, playing from the pig shaped iPod dock next to me to try to cut down on my frustration when I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

"What exactly are you doing?" Gaara sounded hesitant around me today and I could only assume that the screen saver did in fact turn on at some point.

"Trying to blossom." I told him petulantly which caused him to sigh softly.

"Did it ever occur to you to try to sew and see if that helps?" He walked around me and my pile of fabric and tools to squat down and look at me levelly. "And what exactly went through your mind when I was going through the katas?"

I felt my eyes go wide. It was so simple. I was an idiot. Gaara had been going through the katas _before_ I started going ahead. I picked up the needle and threaded it with relative ease. It was poised over the fabric and I thought on what would happen next. I remembered that when Gaara was teaching me I was more interested in trying to figure out where the movements were going than what was actually going on.

Again my senses were cut off and all I could see was dozens upon dozens of futures spanning further and further. This time as each future cut to an end with me holding up the garment I had planned everything fizzled out naturally and I came back into my own.

Gaara was still there gazing at me thoughtfully. "Is it possible for you to close your eyes when you do that?" The question confused me but before I could inquire as to why that would be necessary Gaara told me. "Your eyes start glowing orange. It is unwise to show such obvious signs of a jutsu if it can be avoided. I don't know that this has any combat application but if you can practice it and cut down the time it might be applicable as a technique to copy jutsu. If an opponent knows that is what you are doing it might lead to a weakness in the jutsu. You don't seem capable of action while it is happening."

While everything he said was logical and important, my mind was stuck on: "Orange? My eyes glow orange? That is so bad ass!" But as I realized the rest of his words I cleared my throat and, ignoring my ridiculous joy at having glowing orange eyes, I said instead, "Ah, yes, that would be hazardous though, wouldn't it."

Gaara stood up and made ready to leave the room when I jumped to my feet and swirled to face him. "Thank you so much for your…" but before I could complete the sentence the use of chakra for the scan caught up to me and I fell forward. Gaara reached to steady me but a wall of sand blocked him easily.

The sand slowly retreated back into the gourd it came from until only a small patch remained in between our hands. "Gaara, what exactly…should I not…" His sand only did things like that to protect him. Was I dangerous to Gaara?

He seemed to guess the questions I didn't finish accurately as he gave a sigh so quiet that I thought maybe he was just breathing slowly. "That is a general occurrence in times where we may accidently touch. I am looking into it but as things stand right now I do not know why the sand that protects me views you as a threat. I don't know if you should be here or not but I am looking into it." Gaara gave me an amused look that I thought I misinterpreted for a second before lowering his hand and allowing the last patch of sand to snake away. "You're rather bold though, Harper."

The look of confusion wasn't enough to keep him engaged in conversation so I asked, "What do you mean, Gaara?"

"That right there. There was a picture on your computer that clearly said Gaara-sama." _Well shit._ "I had assumed you didn't understand the proper address at first but you knew along, didn't you?"

This was a question I really did have to answer…respectfully. "I did, Gaara-sama." I felt my head bow automatically but a small line of sand touched my chin, tilting it back up.

"It's usually difficult to get people to accept me as anything but the Kazekage as I have filled this role for a very long time. So, while it is not gaining you much favor with other villagers, I suppose now that you are in the habit of calling me by my name I should allow it if only in reward for your boldness. I find that making friends is as important as having nakama, don't you?"

"So it is okay to call you Gaara still?" It was better to be safe than sorry.

"If you want. Gaara-kun would be fine if you wanted to fit in more, though I think somehow that might get you killed by certain exasperating women." As I broke out in a fit of laughter his eyes widened and his forehead wrinkled like he was raising his non-existent eyebrows. "What?"

I managed to wave my hands in a vague attempt to tell him not to worry but he just continued to gaze at me expectantly. "Some people…" wheeze "Back there…" deep breath. "Used to call you…" fit of giggles. "Gaa-chan." One look at the clearly unimpressed expression on his face had me falling to my knees, unable to hold myself upright.

I looked up in time to see Gaara frown before he intoned, clearly and unmistakably, "That is not permitted." And as I broke down in giggles again he walked away shaking his head.

Several minutes passed before Kankuro came wandering in for a snack of some sort and I was still in a giggling heap on the floor.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked as I twitched.

My head popped up and I managed to spit out "Ask your brother." Before collapsing again. At this point I have no idea why it was funny but I really needed a laugh.

I didn't exercise any more that day and instead made several outfits before modifying clothes I already had to fit my style more. At dinner Gaara was still frowning and I was trying my best not to laugh at him again but I figured one tease would be fine.

"So what exactly was so funny earlier?" Kankuro asked as we sat down for some beef tongue, which I thought at first was going to be the grossest thing ever but if you ignored what it was it wasn't so bad.

"Nothing important." I told him with a serious mien. Gaara was next to me at the head of the table and it almost seemed that he was relieved. He was not used to being teased at all was he? "Hmmm, can you pass the salt…Gaa-chan?" Gaara's eyes grew wide in shock as Temari gaped openly at the nickname. Kankuro just looked very confused.

"Oi, little brother, why can't we call you that?" Kankuro asked with a surly tone and I lost it again.

Temari on the other hand started to laugh loudly, slapping her hand on the table for emphasis. "That's fucking great!" She chortled. "Where did you come up with that? I thought you didn't know anything about honorifics."

I managed to control my laughs for long enough to say, "He has a lot of fangirls back home who call him that. Guess he's just too cute." And I was giggling again.

"You hear that, Gaara, you have girls in different dimensions who love you!" Temari guffawed.

"It's worse cause to them he isn't even real. Aw man you should read some of the fanfics."

"Fanfic?" Gaara asked, opening a whole new can of worms.

"Yeah but to be honest I would rather read GaaraXNaruto over any other pairing. I have seen some disturbing ones with you and Hinata or Sakura or even Ino. The yaoi isn't so bad though."

"Pairings?" Kankuro asked dumbly.

"Yaoi?" Gaara questioned.

"Pairings; like who you date or sleep with or whatever. And yes, yaoi…guy on guy pairings. You know, homosexual stuff." I explained it casually but the effect was profound.

"There is writing that puts Gaara in relationships with those Konoha kunoichi?" Temari demanded, but Gaara's reaction was ten times better.

He dropped the chopsticks in his hand and stared at me with wide eyes. "Me and _Naruto_? What in the? How in the? How would we…?"

"Your innocence and lack of creativity is kind of cute, Gaa-chan." For once he let the nickname slide so I decided now was not the time for Yaoi 101 with the Kazekage. "I'll tell you when you are older."

"But a man and a man? That's not even physically possible there isn't a place to…" Kankuro was thinking way to hard or not enough.

"There is always a place." I told him solemnly and left it at that. Remarkably Temari was the one to figure it out. She looked at her baby brother and then burst out in more laughter.

"That would be interesting." She said with a chuckle "But I don't think that Konoha or Suna would allow such a thing."

"Did Naruto become the Hokage then?" I didn't know what happened at the end of the war but I had my fair guess.

"Naruto made Hokage." Gaara said, thankful for the subject change. "There are new Raikage and Tsuchikage as well but I get yelled at for talking politics and work at the dinner table."

I just grinned at that and before I knew it dinner was done with and I was washing dishes like any other member of a family would be corralled into doing. The sand siblings were off doing their own separate things and Gaara was back in his office when a small trail of sand floated up and caught my attention.

'Don't call me Gaa-chan!' The words floated in front of me for a moment before dissolving and rushing back to the Kazekage office. _He really is cute sometimes._

* * *

><p>Gaara Point of View:<p>

I found myself unable to get much work done that day. Taking that break with Harper at lunch only served to remind me of that picture from this morning and her fit of laughter at that Kami-forsaken nickname kept cropping up in my mind.

Dinner only made things worse. First because that name was brought up in front of Kankuro and Temari and getting them to keep quiet on it was going to prove difficult. It had been too long since I was able to scare them into doing anything and it occurred to me that this was not something being diplomatic would stop. And then there was the thought that there were people in the Spirit Away Dimension that seemed to…what was the word, pair? Yes pair me and various kunoichi and _shinobi_ in intimate relationships. I spent more time than was probably healthy trying to figure out how two men copulate with each other. As I saw it, there was no benefit as men could not get pregnant.

Getting distracted so much delayed all the work I had and I ended up finishing the last bit of paperwork well into the night. Walking through the halls to the living quarters I tried to think of an excuse to get into Harper's room again tonight. I wasn't really tired but she so far proved to be an interesting person to talk to.

Before I could knock on the door I heard a lilting 'come on in' and following those instructions I managed to hold a conversation for much longer than my Council seemed to think me mentally capable of. I didn't mind Harper; even though she was a source of distraction and put weird concepts into my head and I was so glad she hadn't gone back home when she had the chance.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Gaara was becoming more of a friend.

That was what marked the next few weeks as I wore myself with scanning futures to learn different taijutsu and to master different shinobi arts like throwing weapons and using chakra to run faster and climb sheer rock walls.

He was a consistent source of companionship every night. We would listen to music and I would teach him lyrics, sometimes we would watch one of the random movies on my computer even though he didn't understand the pop culture references. That usually led to discussions about the dimension I left behind which was seeming like less and less of a home.

Today Gaara was going to take a relatively long break, a whole hour, from paper work and appointments to spar with me or rather to let me hit the solid wall of sand that sprung to his defense even when I wasn't trying to _hit_ him. After that I had another brawl with the academy students. First things first, however, were stretches and running.

It started after my first lap around the cliffs. The guards stationed at the village entrance would snicker and pretend to waddle or jiggle imaginary flab. It didn't take chakra enhanced ears to hear the insults, words like 'fatso' and 'freeloader' that slid smoothly off their tongues. I passed out of hearing range quick enough but the anger and humiliation burned as I raced around the outside of the village.

I was visibly upset, at least by ninja standards, as I ran past them again but a girl with long, straight, pretty brown hair signaled for me to stop and jogged over.

"Hey, ignore them, they're boneheads anyway." She gave a friendly smile. "There is an oasis to the north-west of here within the Village's jurisdiction if you would rather be uninterrupted in your routine." She shot a nasty look at the guards who rolled their eyes. "I used to run until I was ragged testing my endurance there a lot. It even has a decent water hole."

I looked off to the north-west, angling my body to run in that direction. "Thanks…uh…"

"Sari," she supplied helpfully.

"Thanks a bunch Sari-san. I'll be going then." In hindsight I should have recognized the gleam of triumph in her eyes but I just thought to myself about how helpful she was.

I never even noticed the genjutsu field I walked into nor did I realize that after a couple dozen meters I was running due west because of it.

* * *

><p>Gaara Point of View:<p>

I should have known immediately when the normally prompt and punctual Harper wasn't already at the training grounds for our spar that morning. Checking her room, which proved empty, my eyes fell on the small black rectangle she called an iPod. She would have brought it to the spar; she mentioned something about timing the future with it, but Harper didn't bring it to her daily exercise routine anymore.

I figured it was a bit of a blessing because I really did have a lot of work to do and I felt a bit irresponsible ditching everything to fight with some girl. I headed back to my office ignoring the pointed looks Temari and Kankuro shared as I entered. Was it because I wasn't gone the full hour or did I look as dejected as I felt? It would only lead to embarrassment to ask.

Time passed slowly after that. A part of me was concerned; was she alright? Had she lost track of time or was something preventing her from contacting me? Another part of me was angrier than I had been in some time. I could feel Shukaku snickering in the back of my mind in his private desert. She just blew me off. I had never experienced anger at a situation like this. Normally if someone could not make it to an appointment I let it slide and moved on, knowing that there was surely a good enough reason.

Temari seemed like she was about to say something when a knock interrupted any chance she may have has.

"Enter." I somewhat hoped it was Harper if only so that I could stop dwelling on her. Instead the woman who came in could only be described as pretty but average. The woman was a fairly skilled kunoichi who stopped ANBU training half way through after the demise of her mother and father. She took on the safer role of Assistant Sensei in the academy so she could provide for her younger sister.

Once called the name Mouse by her colleagues, she was soft spoken and timid, but only when in character.

"Kazekage-sama, I uh, it's just…"

"Drop the act Sena, he's not in a good mood." Kankuro said with a roguish smile and a wink, it really wasn't helping my overall attitude.

"Right, I'll make my concern brief then, knowing how valuable your time is." Sena said smoothly and quickly shifting gears. "I have reason to believe one of the Village's jounin perhaps more, have done something to cause harm to your guest, Harper-san." I hate to acknowledge the way my body became rigid with shock. "She was scheduled to come to the Academy to help the children with teamwork and while she has never been late, in fact she comes early, she didn't show at all. What's more, Matsuri-san and that crony of hers, Sari, have been staring out at the desert with disturbingly gleeful expressions."

I felt my hands clench into tight fists and sensed more than saw the sand shifting dangerously at my feet. Without even thinking I found myself using shunshin in a flurry of sand, landing just outside the village.

"G-Gaara-sama!" Sari sounded both nervous and excited. I ignored her. Instead I bent to the sand, placing both hands down into the particles hot enough to burn as they lay directly under the desert sun. Kankuro, who followed me without question, turned to her with a menacing look.

"Do you know which direction that Harper chick ran off to?" He was playing her the fool but it was still irritating to have to.

"She just headed to the oasis in the north-west…" the girl answered but there was a soft hitch in her voice and her chakra wobbled just enough to indicate that something was going on.

Concentrating more chakra into the palms of my hands I scanned for irregularities in the dunes in the specified direction. It didn't take long to come across the genjutsu trap lying in wait. It was sloppy work, something even a Chunin could have detected but Harper was not a Chunin.

"Kankuro." My brother nodded and we set off in the direction Harper was supposed to be in.

"Gaara, what's going on?" He had typical sensory strength and when we came within five steps of the field he hissed in shock. "Hey, that's Matsuri's chakra signature."

The information was unnecessary; Matsuri was my student so of course I knew that already. Nodding in acknowledgement I made to walk into the genjutsu but Kankuro thrust an arm in my path.

"It is fairly weak," I told him. "If it is dangerous I will break free of it. Besides I don't believe Matsuri means Harper any harm. I am curious to see what this is about." With that conviction I stepped past the obvious haze of chakra. Several steps into the genjutsu I veered to the west.

For two hundred yards the genjutsu confused my mind into a westerly direction. It seemed simple enough until everything changed.

_No one likes you._

_No one loves you._

_Weak._

_Pathetic._

_Useless._

_Stop wasting Gaara-sama's time._

_Unworthy._

_Slut._

_Whore._

I quickly shattered the jutsu and took off at a faster pace with Kankuro running parallel to me three hundred feet to the left. At first I was just confused. What was the point of implanting those specific thoughts? Each one was an inaccurate assumption or even a bold faced lie. Moreover there was no reason for Matsuri to do this. The only possible purpose would be to torment Harper and from what I knew there wasn't enough interaction between the two women to warrant negative and hurtful actions.

After half an hour of running another genjutsu hit e like a sandstorm. My heart began to hurt like when I was a child and people were laughing all around me; shouting. I barely felt my steps slow as the words reached my ears.

_Why don't you just die?_

_Die._

_DIE!_

_No one will ever love you._

_You will never be needed._

_You will never be wanted._

_All the Kazekage can give you is pity._

_He could never love an outsider like you._

_Just jump._

_End it._

_Pathetic._

_Just die._

My heart continued to constrict and I wasn't sure if it was the genjutsu or the fact that Matsuri would create something like this. I was moving at a snail's pace through the sand; mind pondering the words the illusion shouted at me and why Matsuri would do such a thing.

"Kai!" Kankuro's voice rang out against the effects of the field. "Gaara," he was pale and I realized that Kankuro also experienced the genjutsu. "I think we should hurry." I was about to nod and take off at a decent clip but it hit me. _Just jump._ We were headed west…to the ravine.

"Fuck." It was unlike me to swear but I couldn't think of any more valid word to express my feelings at the time. I ran. I ran faster than I had in a very long time all the while forcing the genjutsu to stay out of my mind.

When we arrived at the ravine, Harper was standing at the edge; pale and shaking.

"Wait, don't…" I was too far away to release her and she just turned to me with dead eyes and a sad smile. Mouthing an apology she gave a small wave and took a dainty step backwards off the cliff and out range of the genjutsu.

As she began to scream in terror I jolted into action and ran to the ravine edge. Without thought or permission I tapped Shukaku's power to call sand from the earth layer upon layer. I heard a cry of pain but continued to add sand from the bottom until a giant sand dune crested the ravine; Harper sat cringing in pain at the top.

"Harper!" I can't say I truly understood the amount of relief I felt. Harper was someone I would consider a friend but shinobi die every day. She understood that and I did too, much better than she could. The woman slid down onto the lip of the ravine before standing carefully, her hand cradling her left forearm gently. Her eyes were still dead and her mouth was set in a grimace. I could have killed someone if there was anyone worth striking down in my vicinity.

I just didn't know why.

We were half way to Suna before I could calm down but just when I thought I was alright, Harper stumbled and pithed forward into the sand. Struggling to stand she pressed her weight onto her left arm and gasped in pain as if she were fighting not to scream.

Vision hazing red I lifted the three of us onto platforms of sand and sent us floating back to the village.

"Sorry." The word was whispered so quietly I thought perhaps I was imagining things but after a moment Harper repeated her apology sounding tearful and guilty and I snapped.

"How is any of this _your_ fault?" My tone was harsh and my voice gravelly but I didn't regret it. "Did you provoke Matsuri?"

She laughed sounding a bit hysterical and at first I thought I frightened her. She had seen my past in that anime so it would make sense. "Every day. It's not intentional but it's not something I can help either. I get to call you familiarly and I seem close to you." She laughed again and I stopped the sand's forward momentum in confusion.

"That has nothing to do with Matsuri." How could that affect my former student at all?

"She thinks I am stealing you from her. She cares about you and some new chick comes in and starts hanging out with you, well most woman would trash talk or something, but Matsuri is a ninja so things scale I guess."

"You're not really making sense," I told her honestly. Couldn't she say it clearly?

Thankfully Kankuro was paying attention and after a baffled moment of his own he called from the sand he sat on, "I think she is saying Matsuri's jealous."

"Jealousy does not merit murder." I intoned, still confused as to why Matsuri would be jealous and also what murdering Harper would accomplish.

"Depends on how jealous you are and about what." Harper voice was quiet but I could still hear the rueful tone in her voice; as if she really thought she was doing something wrong.

Nudging the sand forward I thought on it, staring out at the desert contemplatively. Even if I was unaware when it all began I knew Matsuri was infatuated with me but I never gave her any indication that I was interested and I treated within the limits of friendship the whole time. Some of the things in that field indicated that Matsuri thought there was something between Harper and I but I couldn't even get close to harper without a wall of sand springing into existence. Not only that but there was still no headway in finding someone compatible with the jutsu that could save her life. If no one could be found Harper would die. If someone was found it would not be a under exaggeration to say she belonged to and with that person and vice versa.

If I could have found a way to fall in love with anyone, which hasn't happened yet, but if I could it might have been Harper. But it would only hurt to think on it. If only sand could block off my heart.

Temari was at the Village Entrance but I zoomed right past her, dropping Kankuro off to explain the situation. I really didn't think it was wise for me to be anywhere Matsuri could find me. Maybe one day she would understand that I was a man and not a list of adjective; today would not be a good day to lecture on it though.

In the meantime I brought the sand platform up into the Kazekage residence and deposited Harper on her bed. With unsure fingers I pushed a few buttons on the small item that played music and when the sound started I lowered myself to the floor with my back against her bedframe. I didn't plan to sleep but the soft song, almost like a lullaby, coming from the pig shaped music box sent me into a dream of deserts and friends and fun where Matsuri and Harper laughed together in the pool of an oasis, murder far from anyone's mind.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Bah another long chunk before updates. Sorry about that. Hit me up with a review if you like….it would help to know how things are seen by yall.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As soon as Gaara deposited me onto my bed I zonked out. I couldn't even move an inch and I knew that I would be waking to pain. My wrist throbbed even as I slept but I couldn't bring myself to get into a more comfortable position. I guess having someone else claim sovereignty over your mind has its drawbacks. At some point that day I woke to a sharp pain before the skin and muscle on and around my wrist began to itch unpleasantly. Too tired to do more than groan I passed back out. It could have been a dream for all I know.

It was either late that night or early the next morning that I woke up with my hand on a platform of sand hanging off the bed, the room only lit by my computer's LCD screen which was flashing pictures as it idled. I should have turned the machine off but I had the sinking suspicion that it had been on for a couple days now. When I shifted and brought my hand back to my side the sand disintegrated into nothing to reveal a head of red hair leaning against the mattress. Soft breaths drifted from a slightly parted mouth and eyes rimmed in black rested peacefully.

_He is going to get a crick in his neck sleeping there._ Biting my lip in thought for just a moment, I called his name. Gaara woke with a start. "You'll hurt your neck sleeping there," I felt my explanation was weak considering how relaxed he seemed while he slept.

Gaara rotated his neck and rolled his shoulders experimentally before moving to sit up further. "Sorry," his voice was rougher than usual and he sounded very tired. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep on your floor."

Before he could stand up I quickly threw the blankets off my body and tried to move to the floor only to have a wave of sand hold me down. "No, seriously. You're practically dead on your feet; I can sleep on the floor. We'll trade." Of course the obvious thing would be for Gaara to just go next door to his own bed but I figured on future inspection that we were just too tired to think clearly.

"I'm fine, Harper. I'll be fine. So I'm just going to go back to sleep." The ensuing argument isn't something that made sense then and it would make even less sense in the morning but ended in me suggesting we share the bed.

"It isn't like you can touch me anyway so there isn't anything to worry about!" I told him, very proud of my thought process and solution.

"It's hardly proper, Harper." He didn't sound too against the idea though and in the end he curled up beside me lying just far enough away that there was no sand creating a wall between us. Gaara nuzzled closer to the pillow I shoved at him breathing in slowly and letting the air out in a soft sigh. "This is surprisingly comfortable."

"Well as long as I don't wake up with sand in my hair or a crazed fangirl holding a kunai to my throat I don't see why we can't have sleep overs more often. Where I come from its not unusual. Then again casual coupling between strangers isn't unusual either…there is a bit of a moral gap between what you practice and what they do."

"Harper?" His voice was softer and so very tired. "We can talk in the morning, so please let me fall back to sleep."

Embarrassed, I slapped a hand over my mouth and nodded as he peered at me with one bleary eye. "Night, Gaara."

* * *

><p>Gaara Point of View:<p>

I woke up to a door creaking open sometime just before four. Even if I couldn't sense her chakra signal I would have known Temari anywhere. Like most kunoichi she used soaps and shampoos with no scent but there was still always the smell of warm sunlight and fresh wind on her.

I didn't bother moving away from Harper who incidentally moved closer to me last night and caused a small barricade of sand to spring into being. What was the point of moving when Temari clearly saw me lying here already? I would not be ashamed of being comfortable for a night; resting my head on the future seer's desk for an hour every other night was slowly becoming torture and this was much nicer.

"Gaara," she sounded concerned rather than disapproving. "Is there a reason your sand is reacting to her?"

_Oh, right. "_I haven't figured out why. It started acting this way roughly a month after she arrived." Telling Temari stark details was always the safest way to handle her.

"And, if I may ask, as an older sister rather than an advisor… why is there a hand shaped out of sand clinging to her wrist?" Now she sounded amused though, really, I was not. On inspection there was a hand of sand that acutely mirrored my own gently encircling Harper's wrist. In that moment I was very thankful for the sand armor I was still wearing because it blocked the blush that I could feel scorching my face. When the sand snapped back away from my bed mate and into the gourd it usually resided in I heard my sister chuckle. "I'll be in the kitchen when you can drag yourself out of bed, _Otouto._"

It took me several minutes to figure out how I was going to handle a situation that was perplexing me. I didn't know if there was proper etiquette in leaving a friend whose bed you had spent the night in. A part of me thought it would be polite to thank her but would it be better to wake her to do so or apologize later at some point in the day for disappearing. Then again, this was not a sexual relationship but rather a…how did she call it... a sleepover. Besides being under genjutsu was always rough on the mind, especially the first time. She would need to sleep. In the end I left a small patch of sand on the pillow she let me borrow that would be easy to dump out the window with the words 'thank you' scratched into its surface and ducked into my own room to put fresh clothes on.

Temari was indeed in the kitchen when I arrived for tea and she had a grin on her face that I strongly disliked. Ignoring her seemed like the best course of action but when she realized, rather quickly, that that was my intent she began to make it very difficult.

"Gaara, I know you know this but it is not a wise or kind thing to do to lead a lady on. You have to think, not only about what the people working for you will assume, but also what she will assume. I mean, what exactly are your intentions? You can't say that you had none whatsoever. Gaara, I know you can hear me. Gaara!" I would have answered her just to get some peace and quiet before work but Kankuro came running up like a ninken catching scent of danger and I was thusly relieved of my need for a heart to heart with a nosey sister.

"There you are, Gaara. The Jounin Council seems to have some questions about what happened yesterday and they figured since you don't sleep very often they could catch you now. I think they want you thrown off by the timing, but…" Kankuro's gaze shifted past me and to Temari and when I glanced over my shoulder she was making a face reminiscent of a fish caught in a net.

"Temari, what exactly is...?" Temari was looking at me like she had never seen me before.

"Those weren't conditions you could sleep in. It was too loud, too bright. Shukaku would have devoured you but you were fine. Gaara… What is going on?" The concern in her voice was something that I was weak against. Sometimes she tried to fake such tones to get information from me but now was not one of those instances.

Giving her a soft smile I gave a heavier than usual sigh. "I will explain after work, but I must ask you to refrain from explaining the situation to Harper. For now, if you could lead me to whichever chamber the Council is in for this meeting I would be grateful, Kankuro." I didn't miss the fact that my sister was right behind us and I was sure she would dog me all day to remind me of my word. Such things were lower on my list of cares than she would have liked right now but between a former student trying to kill a woman I seemed to have made friends with and the tailed beast sealed in me taking a bit too much pleasure in intruding on my personal life my concerns were chock full of unpleasantness. Even then the thing weighing most heavily on my mind was an unproven concern. One that, if true would either change my world or devastate it further because I couldn't touch her.

The meeting went smoothly as did the day that followed. Temari was a constant presence all day and by dinner, which Harper was in charge of today, I was beginning to lose my patience with her pointed sighs and dire glares.

"What exactly is that?" Temari's question broke my reverie and left me staring at a table of confusing foods. There was a bunch of flat brown circles that seemed almost like bread, hard shells shaped like a long 'u', a bowl of what looked like beef chunks and a plate full of lettuce, tomatoes, and onions. A small bowl of something rather pungent and atrociously yellow that appeared to be shredded….something… sat near the edge of the table between two much smaller containers of a thick white cream and a chunkier red sauce.

"Taco night." Harper stated so proudly that I almost laughed.

"And," Kankuro moved closer to the table as if it were an enemy, "what is a taco night?"

"A night where you eat tacos…"

"And a taco is?" Temari pressed cautiously.

"A kind of food. It's not going to kill you, it's really good. All I am missing is the refried beans and the rice but I couldn't figure out the seasoning for yellow rice and I didn't learn refried beans yet." And she was off on a tangent about the type of food she could have made and would have made if she only knew how.

Harper took time to give the names of the food we were unfamiliar with, cheese, sour cream, salsa and tortilla wraps and shells. She told us how to make tacos and watched us in amusement as Kankuro and Temari debated the merits of different ingredients and whether hard or soft tacos were better. It was something I had never seen them do at a meal and they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"Are you not gonna try, Gaara?" I had yet to move to the table not because I wasn't curious or unwilling to experiment but because the whole experience was new to me. My family wasn't afraid of me anymore but we never had fun together. As things were turning out I was really going to miss her. "Gaara?"

"Sorry I was just ruminating. What do you recommend?"

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><p>Harper Point of View:<p>

Dinner was a success and even Gaara had seconds. He was a soft shell kinda guy it seemed where as Temari and Kankuro enjoyed crunchy shells. They weren't as good as the shells at home and the cheese while good had a long way to go before I would consider it perfect but even just for these three it was nice to bring a bit of my old home to this new one.

Gaara seemed distracted throughout dinner; distracted and almost sad, but I couldn't guess why. My only hope, that he would come talk about it, seemed irrational. Who was I to the Kazekage that he would come talk to me about something bothering him? But somehow, at one in the morning he came into my room with a small, tired smile.

Giving him a grin I asked, "Care for another sleep over or is this official business of some sort?"

"Well, nothing about you can be official business yet so I guess I will join you and talk for a bit." He seemed weary and his smile became sad again but he walked over with grace to sit on my bed. "I don't know what to begin with."

"How about you get comfortable first, since this is a sleep over." I was trying to be charming but he just huffed at me before reclining.

"It's about your Kekkei Genkai. We found a solution that seems to be the only answer but after discussing it with Temari and Kankuro, we decided that after I give you the explanation you are free to reconsider staying here." At my nod he took a deep breath and began. "There is a kinjutsu, a forbidden technique, which goes by the name: Twin Mind Jutsu. When used this technique will permanently link your mind to another's by swapping a small amount of chakra between you and the caster. It, fundamentally, would result in telepathic communication and the user of the jutsu would be able to keep your chakra balanced while you dream simply by keeping his or her chakra system stable. In all other ways the two chakra pools would be separate. It would not be possible to take energy for either member of the link. However the kinjutsu is forbidden for a reason; a very good one.

"There needs to be a certain compatibility between the user and the recipient. The compatibility is measured in the way the two people feel about each other; if the participants match well enough at the usage of the Twin Mind Jutsu the jutsu would take. Strong emotions of a similar sense from both participants will allow the chakra to blend and synchronize whereas emotions without enough compatibility will cause the person with the strongest feelings to absorb all of the chakra as well as the mind of the other. They would be driven mad and would either need to be killed or would commit suicide therein releasing the other mind back to its original body. However, because the other person inhabited a mind that went mad they too would go insane." Gaara paused and looked at me with consideration.

"But once the link is formed I would be alright, right? So I just have to bond with someone, problem solved!" The look in Gaara's eyes made it very clear that that was not the case.

"The emotions used for the jutsu must be pure. They cannot be formed with the intent to use them for anything. Aside from the first link there is another trial. Six months into the jutsu a reaping will occur. The bond that formed the jutsu will be tested and, at this point, if the base emotions that allowed the link in the first place have not further synchronized the same fate will occur. This second time the absorbed mind would not go insane because it would be absorbed by a mind that it was familiar with but there have been no cases where both people have survived, nor has there been a case where even one person remained." Gaara sighed one of his near silent sighs and closed his eyes. "It would be wise to go back now, while you can."

"Is there even anyone I can link with? Even to the first stage? Would that person be willing to link? I'm not going to go home but I won't condemn someone to death…That wouldn't be right. If no one feels confident about it I don't mind dying alone!" I spoke slowly, hesitantly even.

Gaara turned his head and gazed at me for a long time, as if he were gauging my motivation and any real desires he might see lingering in my eyes. It was almost like he was silently asking why I was so willing to die but those words were never uttered. "There is someone who would match but there are…complications. As things stand that person cannot complete the jutsu and I have no way of forcing the issue."

There was silence as Gaara let me digest that information. There was hope but it wasn't a good, solid hope. There was someone but there wasn't. I didn't want to link to someone if it meant their days were numbered but I didn't want to die. There was nothing I could do but I wouldn't go home.

"I try to have faith that things always work out." I told my friend softly. "I dreamed about you for months when I was a little girl and after the last time I never got to remember another dream. I don't know if it seems naïve or if maybe you have a similar saying here but, 'Everything happens for a reason.' I am just going to have to trust whatever reason it was that brought me here because there has to be one. Little girls don't dream of people they don't know. No one does. It's a proven fact that if you haven't seen someone you won't dream of their face but before I ever saw that anime or read the manga or anything I saw you." I wanted him to understand that as crazy as it seems I truly believed that I was supposed to be here. "And whoever the person is, where ever I know him from; whatever our connection is…whatever problem there is, it will work out because it is supposed to."

Gaara's eyes softened as he focused on mine. It was almost like he didn't have anything to say in the face of such determination. In honesty the words were bolder and surer than I felt but I didn't want to be a burden to this trio of siblings that I considered friends. He didn't have to know that though.

"Perhaps things will work out," he conceded before closing his eyes slowly. "If you don't mind the sleep over portion of the evening can now commence. Listening to you speak with such heart wearies me."

A small smile cracked my face. "Good night Gaara. Just remember the deal is off if some random kunoichi is holding a kunai to my vitals when I wake up."

"As I recall you also do not want to wake up with sand in your hair." Gaara reminded me sleepily. "Now, kindly be quiet."

With all the new information running in my head about the Twin Mind Jutsu and its consequences I didn't put the few pieces available together nor did I have the wherewithal to realize that Gaara sleeping in my room again when his was next door was at the very least abnormal. I was just happy he was around even with all the problems crashing into me. The fact that I was keeping the collective damage my bloodline was doing to me from him also didn't register as I fell asleep with a yawn.

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><p><strong>AN: I feel super guilty about not updating this in forever but in my defense my other story has been getting just as neglected I promise. Anyway lots of technical information in this chapter about the titular Jutsu if it's confusing I can re-explain next chapter or even completely revamp this one so let me know. Also, don't hate on taco night.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Whoa its been awhile. Luckily my primary fic is finishing up so I can work at this one a bit more diligently. So hopefully it won't be another month of inactivity. Sorry about that.**

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Gaara's Point of View:

The night air was cool and quiet with the soft hum of the machine Harper called a 'computer' being the only sound other than the faint breath slowly expelling from her lips like clockwork. I knew it would have been wiser to use such silence to get some rest but instead I found myself dwelling on the conversation between myself and my siblings. I didn't tell them everything. I told them about Shukaku's new rule and about the slight possibility of a match for the Twin Mind Jutsu but there was a strong sense of guilt preventing me from explaining further.

As it was, several things boiled down to duty. Duty to my new friend or duty to my village as their Kazekage; these were the ideals I had to choose between. If I could just think of a way to solve the problem without jeopardizing either then I wouldn't have to suffer so much from the thought of how much I would be betraying on or the other.

I could try to find a way for Harper to receive the jutsu she needed but I would be failing Suna by doing so. I could do what was right as a Kage but Harper would die. I would have spent more time than was wise considering that; perhaps all night, but in a split second of understanding I realized that the only sound I could hear was Harper's Computer. She was no longer breathing.

When I looked over, Harper's eyes were wide with shock and pain; her fingers were hooked into claws and her mouth was open in a silent scream. Panicked I reached hesitant fingers to stabilize her chakra flow but sand bloomed before they could reach the skin of her temples.

"Harper wake up! Harper!" No matter how many times I said her name, commanded her to wake or screamed at her she would not respond and instead small trickles of blood began to flow from her eyes, ears and nose. I was so focused on Harper that I didn't even realize when Temari came barreling into the room with a seal ready in her hand. She pushed me aside; going so far as to use a blast of wind chakra to push me clear off the bed.

"Kon!" She sounded frantic as she rooted the seal but my older sister's face relaxed as Harper began to breathe again.

"Sorry Temari," the woman was apologizing for a severe reaction that she couldn't control. She looked like she was straining to move when Temari pressed a gentle hand to her arm.

"You know it will be a while before you can move." The spikey twit said it like this was a common occurrence. "I'll go get you some juice, the sugar has helped before. Gaara, if you don't mind joining me?"

Harper's eyes widened in shock and she almost looked frightened; it made me feel nauseous. I couldn't bring myself to respond to that once common wide eyed expression and instead walked around her bed towards the door while mustering the darkest glare I could for my darling sister. As soon as we entered the kitchen I felt the small vein of emotion that I rarely tapped explode with anger.

"How long?" The less words I used the longer I would have energy to communicate civilly with.

"She has been getting worse from the start," Temari said with a shrug. A casual shrug that made everything seem so unimportant. "It's been progressing pretty far for the past month or so though. I would say if she doesn't go home or get linked to someone she won't survive the next dream."

"You didn't say anything." The question 'why' should be blazingly obvious at this point.

"She didn't want you or Kankuro to worry. Kankuro has been blaming himself for all this after all and you have more important things to worry about as the Kazekage…or at least that's what she said. So, this hidden ace up your sleeve, I think it's time you used it because whatever person you know of that she can link to is her last shot."

Her words floored me. All the rage building up completely deflated. It wasn't that Temari was being cold because she didn't care. Compartmentalizing was the way of the ninja after all. It was ok to care about something, to love someone, but when that person became baggage you had to be able to toss them off your back. Ninja are people who can make a weapon out of anything, after all.

"That's impossible." The words flinched from my throat as Kankuro walked in, drawn by the yelling. "It's just not possible."

"Well, why not? You can order anyone to do anything, even this if you have to. What? Does the guy have a wife or girlfriend? Is that going to stop you from saving her?" Temari spoke with incredulity, scoffing at the moral value of such restraint. But that wasn't it.

Almost without conscious thought I sent sand along the walls of the kitchen, sound proofing it easily. Once we were within our little private bubble I let down the wall I held within my heart. Such confessions as these could not be made without emotion.

"It's _not possible!_ There is no girlfriend or wife. There is no moral problem at all. The Twin Mind Jutsu requires physical contact to anchor the technique. It requires an exchange. The _only _person who meets the requirements with her in all of Suna…the only person who feels the same thing for her that she feels for him cannot complete that requirement." Their shocked faces might have cause internal amusement in any other situation but right now that was the farthest thing from my mind. "That's because the will of my mother guides the sand and causes it to protect me from harm. It protects me from her. I cannot save her life if I cannot touch her but I do not know the reason behind my sand's will. No matter how I look at it though, it's only me. No matter how much I want her to live."

I turned away from them to hide the tears that were falling shamefully down my face and leaving damp tracks down the sand armor covering it but I knew they knew enough from those words. They would realize that slowly a soft love filled with admiration, awe and delight grew from the late night conversations and fun filled dinners. It was innocent and gentle and pure and it was about to be destroyed by the very thing that brought her here.

It would never be allowed to flourish and become the overwhelming love it could be. It would disappear before it began. And I was to blame.

I wasn't anticipating the reactions of my siblings. Kankuro began to pace, his chin held firmly by a firm thumb and forefinger as if he could figure it all out just like that. His face was screwed in an almost comical mask of concentration as I peeked over my shoulder at the sound of his heavier than usual footfalls. When I turned, Temari pounced at me and held me in a tight, vice like grip. My unfounded thoughts that she was attacking me proved fruitless with my sand remaining calm and still and I realized that she was hugging me which, while not unheard of, was exceedingly rare.

"We will figure this out, _Otouto_. No matter what we will figure it out." Temari usually didn't make empty promises to make people feel better about hopeless odds and in the face of those words I allowed a bit of hope to seep into my beleaguered heart. "For now bring some mango juice up for her and try not to lose your shit about how she was keeping her deteriorating health from you like a good boy. There will be plenty of time in the morning so let her sleep. She doesn't have two episodes in a single night so it should be fine now."

I couldn't think of anything to say and I don't think I would have spoken if I had an idea. I was slowly building that wall up around my heart to avoid the raw _feelings_ welling out of me. Even after all the years I had under my brim as Kazekage I still wasn't familiar or comfortable with emotions. It might be disgusting to me but I could often understand the small, unheeded yearning to go back to a life of proving my existence through cold blood and harboring nothing but anger to other. Loving myself only and fighting only for myself was simpler though it was not anywhere near as enjoyable as my current life was.

So I built a wall. It wasn't something I normally did but now I was left with little option. With that wall in place I brought a glass of mango juice to the woman who would no doubt be the end of me, finding her sitting up and looking anxious.

We sat in silence as she slowly sipped the juice. That silence continued as she placed the now empty cup on a nearby surface. It stretched on and on until she spoke without prompting, not that I would know what to say in any case.

"Is there any way for me to reach genin before the next time?" It didn't take an idiot to figure out what 'next time' she spoke of and I felt my heart twitch behind that dense wall hiding it. It wasn't something I could hand to her out of pity. It was something she had to earn. I knew that she understood that. If she made genin her name would be registered as an active shinobi of Suna. That would never go away. When she died her name would be transfer to the casualty list but it would still be there. A solid, tangible reminder that she existed. She was real and here.

I don't think she knew that. To her it probably meant closing a circle, becoming something that mattered to her. No matter the reason my answer could not be continued silence.

"I believe you have enough knowledge and skill to take a graduation exam. Whether you pass or not is up to you. I'll see to its arrangement sometime this week." I was trying to sound official to stop myself from experiencing more of that gut wrenching pain my emotions brought upon me but it seemed to upset her.

A moment passed and she spoke again with a quiver in her voice and eyes that wouldn't look at me. "I know it's rude to ask and I am not even sure you consider me a friend rather than an associate or someone you work with but, if it's all the same to you…could you spend your nights here until the end? I don't want to be alone. I know it probably seems weird to ask, and I don't want to cause you inconvenience but…"

It took little effort to form a hand out of sand to lift the finger to her lips that I could not. There was no thought in forming and arm and body, a head and legs to go with that hand. The sand formed a me that could hug her and gently stroke that wild hair that I couldn't understand and I let her cry all the tears she had been holding so carefully onto that clone's shoulder because she could not be near mine.

"I'll stay," I promised. "I understand." And I really did. Death was scary and it was lonely. If my presence eased that I would do any and everything I could to linger as long as she needed. It might be a form of masochism to stay beside her knowing that it would bring out the worst in me but somehow I wanted that pain. She stayed because she believed things would be alright. She believed that because she dreamed of me, I was the reason she stayed regardless of the things she felt for me, though that probably meant something to her too.

It hit me a month after she arrived. I know she knew many things about me but it didn't hinder the way her eyes lit up when she saw me or the small smile she couldn't discard when we spoke. The first time I sought her out I could feel her chakra light up like fireworks. Nervousness, happiness, confusion, excitement; it pulsed with these and so many more. Sometimes I would just stand behind that door and feel her chakra bounce around.

And the way she saw the world, the things she said, the way she laughed awkwardly when she made a reference to something from her home. Everything about the time I spent with her was precious.

I knew how she felt even though she tried desperately to hide it. It was child's play figuring it out when she didn't have the training or experience to outwit or fool a ninja, let alone a Kage. What she felt was so much different than Matsuri and her horde who clamored on about attributes that I didn't fully possess without recognizing any of my faults or sins. They looked at me and felt love for an icon they didn't understand. Harper didn't pretend to understand me but she knew me to be human. She knew flaws I had and sins I committed but still cared for me.

Glancing up from my own hands where they lay in my lap I saw that Harper managed to exhaust herself with her tears and was sleeping soundly in the lap of my clone. I never knew it was possible to feel jealous of something I created.

Slowly I guided the clone to lay her down in a more comfortable position before dissolving and seeping back to the gourd placed beside her bed. Tomorrow I would look into doing an exam with the required officials and procedures as soon as possible and maybe Kankuro and Temari would have some ideas to save Harper from the imminent death she faced.

For tonight I would drink the sight of her like she was a dying desert wanderer's first chance at water. That would have to be enough.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The next few nights left me in terror. I never knew if any of them would be the last time I fell asleep. I was always wondering; will this be the last morning I see?

Gaara kept his word and stayed beside me each night though we never brought up the tears I shed on the shoulder of his clone and neither of us ever mentioned the look of sadness on my face when reminded that he could only touch me or give comfort to me with hands formed of sand.

I tried to act normally; I would run laps every morning and trained in the afternoon. I would still practice with the academy students as their 'enemy' from time to time. Nobody knew me very well; the village still seemed to dislike me as a whole, so I knew that my death wouldn't impact anyone. Sure the academy students would be a bit put out that their sparring buddy wouldn't be coming back and Sena might feel sad for a small while but impending loss of life really struck home that I was not a part of the community here.

"Hey Fatso!" It was one of the snot noses I sparred with. I called him Big Brass though he didn't seem to know I was mocking his self-importantance and arrogant attitude; he seemed to think I was commenting on his skill. We didn't exchange names on our little battlefield so insults became call tags, I was Fatso and they had a myriad of monikers that amused me but confused them. It wasn't like they could ever understand pop culture references from another dimension.

Stopping my jog towards the training grounds long enough to catch the shuriken he threw with a finger through the middle of it and pocket it didn't seem like his ideal answer to his call. I could hear the words he was going to use before he began but I let him speak anyway.

"I heard you're doing a special graduation exam today in the desert." It wasn't articulated as a question but I nodded anyway. "Is it true that anyone can come watch?"

"I hadn't heard about that," I admitted with a sigh, "but I doubt anyone could stop you. Even if it's in the desert, it will still be in the village's limits."

"Sweet! Just remember we will still beat your ass even if you _are_ a genin." He thumbed his nose but the grin was hidden behind his face mask.

"You have to hit me first!" I couldn't help but wonder if he noticed the bravado. As things stood I wouldn't last long enough for them to land a hit. _Maybe I should let them before things get too bad._ The thought left a sour taste in my mouth.

The exam would be after dinner so I had plenty of time to train beforehand. Apparently the Jounin Council thought testing a twenty five year old woman to be a genin after a couple months training was a farce and were only attending to ascertain that Gaara would not pass me because of sentimentality. Temari had scoffed at that and Kankuro sighed heavily but Gaara just shrugged like he was used to such slights. I was under the impression that being a Kage for over a decade would lend credence to his ability but it seemed that there were those who just couldn't trust in Gaara.

I didn't do any heavy training, nor did I learn any new jutsu, knowing that I would need my stamina for the exam. Instead I went over basic taijutsu katas before branching off into the more advance styles I learned as I could. The sun had set beneath the cliffs surrounding the Village before I made my way to the tower for whatever mess Kankuro was cooking tonight. I learned long ago not to _ask_ what was in his meals and to just be happy I was eating.

"Hey Harper!" The puppeteer had kept a plastered grin on his face since the night we learned I was dying; I was actually getting used to it and knew it was best to let him do what helped. "Got an awesome stamina fortifying stew for dinner tonight!"

Temari scoffed as she set out the tableware. "The pile of mush is what now?"

"What? Its got all sorts of stuff. I put a bunch of-" the face paint master reeved up to list his ingredients with pride but Gaara cut him off quickly with a command to stop and I figured I wasn't the only one who employed the 'don't ask don't tell' method for Kankuro's cooking.

The other option was that they knew how nervous I really was, even though I was trying to hide it from not just them but also from myself, and were trying to make me laugh and relax. There was more merit to that option honestly because I could hardly picture Gaara as someone afraid of something as simple as a meal.

Even with Kankuro's badgering and mock harassment about how healthy his meal was I couldn't really stomach more than a few bites. I even had to go grab my headphones and iPod to relax enough to wash the dishes; which was a whole other experience in Suna with the water ration.

The ten minute run to the small patch of desert I would be tested on completely knotted my muscles and I felt an acute need to vomit away the dinner I barely managed to eat but when we got there I realized that nerves were pointless. The way things were going I wasn't going to live long enough to really enjoy the genin experience and I was too old to be put on a team with a sensei. This was for my own peace of mind. There was no need to be nervous if I wasn't doing this to prove myself to anyone else.

Taking a deep breath I gently placed my iPod onto the ground with the silent hope that sand wouldn't worm into my old school headphones and stood before the instructor who would proctor my exam. He did not look impressed.

First he had me throw shuriken at a target, huffing impatiently as I took careful aim and hit the bulls eye the first time and a soft _shink_ sound as the shuriken thereafter drove it into the post further. After that he ran me through different katas for taijutsu variations taught in the academy. Without even looking up from his paper he told me to perform the Bunshin no Jutsu. Before I could a loud cry came from somewhere to the west and I almost rolled my eyes as Matsuri was forcibly dragged into view by a rough looking man with teeth missing in his grin.

Gaara lifted his hand nonchalantly to send sand his way when the man quickly brought a kunai to the fangirl's throat with a sneer.

"Make a move and the girl dies. Or would you choose that new broad over an honored citizen of Suna?" That had me raise an eyebrow, word of drama spread to bandits too, it seemed. The man flicked his gaze to me and before I could open my eyes from a blink the most mindboggling array of visions swept through me.

It wasn't a complete vision; not one that went from point A to B all the way through to the end. Instead I saw two beginnings. One showed Gaara moving to disable the hostile force by his own strength; the future attached to that was rife with political nonsense about choosing to ignore Matsuri's wellbeing even though she comes out just fine. The other...

Almost second nature I fingered the random kunai that I was never told to throw and without pause snapped it up and threw it with picture perfect accuracy into the man holding that stupid sniveling idiot's eye without pausing to be satisfied with the easy way it slid through skull and brain to poke out the back of his head. There had been no need to take aim. I saw clearly that I would hit with deadly precision so taking all the time to aim and line up the shot was pointless because I already _knew_.

A part of me figured I should feel _something_. I just killed someone. That person dead on the ground was no longer breathing because of _me_. But I knew before I killed him that he would die. There was no time to lament my actions as five more bandits closed in from the observer circle. This really was just like a shounen anime; I mean really, five bandits just chilling in around waiting for their cue?

Gaara looked unimpressed and would have probably obliterated them easily but that stupid clingy bitch flung herself into his arms with crocodile tears; claiming his hands with hers as if she were panicking. After that the world pitched.

Fighting with opponents out for blood was a completely different ball game than fighting academy students who just wanted to get a hit in. These five bandits would have no problem slicing me open and bleeding me out; I was clear from the glint in their eyes and the determination in their steps. Before it even happened I saw two dash in and cut at opposite diagonals. In that future I was sliced into quarters through bone muscle and sinew; unwilling to die I stepped into the small gap the swords created a few moments later.

After that I was completely on the defensive. Dodge, duck, jump, slide. I was always moving, trying to assimilate the things I could see both with my eyes and my bloodline. There were times when it was unclear which was which. All it took, in the end, was one fumble. In the odd second vision of my bloodline one of the men, a tall, gangly guy with a hook nose and piercing blue eyes, slashed at my leg. In that vision I sidestepped the move and danced away from the next attack with ease but as that slash came up I moved as I should and the second attack didn't come. There was a pause as I moved my body to avoid an attack that never happened and, seeing an opening, one of the bandits tackled me.

I could hear frantic shouting in the background. A male and a female. One seemed to want to act and the other was holding him back. Glancing through the legs surrounding me I saw Matsuri clinging to both of Gaara's hands as if she were terrified; whether that fear stemmed from the bandits or from me or if it was real at all wasn't something I cared about at the moment because my eyes caught sight of the look on Gaara's face.

He was distraught. An unhealthy combination of pure rage and overwhelming concern warred with what seemed like a strong desire to help. He looked like he was in pain. He looked like he wanted to flick Matsuri away like he would a flea and stop all of this _now_.

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><p>Gaara Point of View:<p>

Watching Harper fight was amazing. She slipped between miniscule cracks in the enemies attacks and delivered hits in minutely revealed critical areas. She was fighting five trained fighters and had yet to be scratched when all of a sudden she reacted to something that hadn't happened yet. The mistake landed her on her back with four hostiles circled around her.

My first and only instinct was to destroy them all. I wasn't concerned with how they knew about the exam or the point of all this; I just wanted to taint the sand red with their blood. There wouldn't be enough in their veins to satisfy me. I tried to lift my hands to call on the sand that was my weapon only to notice Matsuri clinging to them desperately.

"Let go." The command was obvious but she just shivered and clung closer to me.

"Gaara-sama I'm scared." She had no reason to be afraid. It was Harper who was in trouble, Harper who was looking at me with apologetic eyes as if she could see a future that was too terrible to speak on. It was Harper lying on the ground with an agitated man unsheathing a dagger over her throat. It was Harper that I couldn't help, couldn't touch, couldn't comfort, couldn't save.

It was maddening. _The sand protects me from harm. I am not in danger with Harper._ Those thoughts circled around my head over and over. _Why does it spring to my protection? Harper is not a threat._

The cold, frightened thought that letting Harper die here might be the wise, or at least easy thing to do flickered through my head and Matsuri tugged my hand. How much longer could she last without a dream popping up and triggering an instability in her chakra system that could not be contained? Just the thought made my chest hurt.

It was like I was a kid again with a constant pain in my heart. Thinking back on that, Yashamaru once explained the different types of pain to me.

"_What are more serious are emotional scars…They are the hardest to heal…Physical and emotional scars are a bit different…unlike physical ones, there's no ointment available for emotional ones…And the pain may never go away..."_

He said love was the cure for an emotional scar.

_Could an emotional scar be caused by the fear of love? Could the sand be protecting me from potential pain? The pain that might come from admitting love?_

The line of thought snapped brutally out of line at the glint of the setting sun on the dagger one of the hostiles held to Harper's throat. The weapon plummeted towards her throat but even as I jerked my hands out of Matsuri's grasp sand was flashing forth from the gourd at my back to cover the exposed, vulnerable flesh that peaked from her shirt's neckline.

Harper's eyes closed softly as if she were in pain before she flicked into motion. Without a second's pause she grabbed and broke the wrist holding that knife which was still hovering over the sand and before the man so much as screamed she had the weapon in her possession. A moment later the skin of the broken wrist was split and crimson blood plumed as Harper flicked her own wrist upwards and then back as she twisted away from the torrent of gore so that it fell unhindered onto the sand.

One of the remaining four screamed in anger as his companion bled out but Harper just knelt in the sand, tilting her head to dodge the projectile aimed at her face, as she dug the two domed ear piece and the small black rectangle from the dune she left it in. She shook the box once and sound began to stream out of it louder and louder as she swept her thumb in a circle around its base.

_Put on your war paint_

_You are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down_  
><em>Strike a match and I'll burn you to the ground<em>  
><em>We are the jack-o-lanterns in July<em>  
><em>Setting fire to the sky<em>  
><em>He-here comes this rising tide<em>  
><em>So come on.<em>

_Put on your war paint_

_Cross walks and crossed hearts and hope-to-dies_  
><em>Silver clouds with grey linings<em>

_So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked_  
><em>One maniac at a time we will take it back<em>  
><em>You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start<em>  
><em>So dance alone to the beat of your heart<em>

* * *

><p>Harper Point of View:<p>

A hunch prompted me to snatch my mp3 player from the ground and shake it once to start the random play feature. I brought it with the assumption that I could time the visions I saw through the music; if I had done that from the start I wouldn't have ended up on the ground and Gaara's sand would not have saved me.

Gaara's sand.

He wasn't using hand seals for that; it protected me as naturally as it did him. In that split instant I saw a possibility. One where Gaara confessed feelings for me. That couldn't happen though. I would be dying soon or I would be linked to someone who wasn't Gaara. It wouldn't be fair to link my mind to one person but constantly think of another. No one deserved to be shared. I would just have to interrupt him before he said it. I really didn't need to feel more guilt at dying and really if he didn't say it, it wouldn't hurt as bad, right?

I put the headphones on quickly and pumped the sounds of 'The Phoenix' as loud as I could as much in an attempt to drive out the angst pounding through me as to focus my timing. The visions started again.

_Put on your war paint_ (the four remaining men all charged at once, pulling back fists or weapons in a rage at the thought of two dead comrades)

_You are a brick_

(the man on the left swings up in a left diagonal slash)_ tied to me that's dragging me down_(the man behind him stabs past the left wing man's head in an attempt to pierce my shoulder.)_  
>Strike a match<em>(both remaining men make grabs at my legs) _and I'll burn_ (I pivot away and dance to the side)_ you to the ground  
>We are the <em>(They regain their footing)_ jack-o-lanterns in July  
>Setting fire to the sky <em>(One breaks off and attacks on his own,)_  
>He-here comes this rising tide <em>(I thrust my palm into his chest)_  
>So come on<em>.(I whip around and slam my leg into the same man's side.)

_Put on your war paint _(I stomp my foot onto his face, knocking him unconscious; it's always wise to double tap)  
><em><br>_The fight played out exactly as I saw it. When I saw them counter with something I did not want to happen I changed the future with an action of my own. Everything was stream line, even the swap outs that occurred when I meddled with the time line and as I got used to it I listened to the song play and even moved more in tune with the pop rock anthem. It was a little like aggressive dancing.

The whole song was just about over when the last man finally gave up and stayed down but that future_,_ the one with Gaara explaining himself, was coming up quickly and I just really couldn't face that given the options. I was a coward. I could see the future and that terrified me.

I took one look at Gaara as that last struggler collapsed and I whispered to him, "I'm sorry."

Before he could respond I took off into the desert as fast as I could, hoping it would be fast enough.

* * *

><p><strong>Song used: <strong>

**The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Gaara Point of View:

"Enough!" The word came out harsh as Matsuri continued to fret and cower and cling. She was a kunoichi for Kami's sake; such behavior was revolting. She dropped my hands as if I had the chakra virus but at the moment I didn't really care if she was scared, either of me or the bandits that lay maimed or dead on the desert floor. I didn't have time to worry about her with Harper rushing off across the sand with no direction.

Without further ado I set off in the direction in which she ran mindlessly. There was almost no chance that I wouldn't catch up and there were things I had to say, things I had to explain. The Twin Mind Jutsu, the fact that she would live, how I felt. I had to apologize for not helping in her fight too. The war in my own mind between acting as the Kazekage, who would have to prioritize an actual member of the village over someone technically classified as a temporary citizen, and acting as Gaara, who very much wanted to save Harper above anyone, tilted just briefly to the former's side. I lost hope. I rationalized that Harper didn't have much time; churning the waters and showing any kind of preference would not end well. But I forgot, churned waters don't matter when a shinobi can walk on top of the squall.

I was foolish. But if I had jumped in immediately I would not have the realization that I now had. The terror of an emotional scar was causing my sand to react to her. In matters of the heart I seemed to be a coward, really.

The air was suddenly split with a forlorn scream coming from the northwest and I increased my speed. Only a few moments passed before I caught sight of her curled in the sand with her hands over her head. Harper opened her mouth and another raw scream filled the air. For a moment I fear she perhaps lost consciousness and was having one of her bloodline induced dreams but the way she cringed in on herself denounced the possibility.

I stood across the sands from her, perplexed and with a pain blossoming in my chest. Temari would call the pain 'anxiety' but to me it was my own body reacting to whatever it was that caused Harper to voice such desperation. It wasn't long before she spotted me; her head was rising for air to voice another scream when she made a failed attempt to stand. It occurred to me that she was exhausted from the prolonged use of her bloodline.

She was shivering as I approached, trembling perhaps. For the life of me I couldn't guess what caused this reaction. A small part of me thought it might be the blood that now stained her hands as people not commonly referred to as monsters often had trouble coming to terms with the fact that they committed murder, but if that were the case she wouldn't have a need to run into the desert.

_Why don't you just fucking ask her?_ The pseudo advice Shukaku offered peppered with hysteria and vulgarity but it did make sense. I just wasn't sure why he was keen to help in the first place. The terrifying thought that he might be interested in Harper crossed my mind but I couldn't think how she would be of use to him.

_Might as well._ I thought to myself, keeping the notion far from Shukaku. "Harper…"

"I'm sorry." She didn't let me speak and instead immediately apologized.

_Why are human beings so difficult? _ I could quite hold that back from the bijuu inside me and he laughed heartily at the opinion. "_What_ are you sorry for?" With any luck she wouldn't beat around the bush and just tell me.

"Your sand saved me."

_No such luck on being direct._ Shukaku said with a giggle.

"It did." I had no idea where she was going with this.

"Why?" Did she really not know or was she stalling?

"I suppose because it saw any harm done to you as harm to me. Harper, did you know that there are different kinds of wounds." Her nod fueled my need to explain even with the devastated look on her face. "And you know that my sand protects me from harm, correct?"

"I know what you are trying to explain." Her admission was not altogether shocking, she was a bright woman after all. "But even though…even if… that jutsu….someone is going to be linked to me right? That's not fair. You don't deserve…"

I chuckled. It was a rare sound, gravelly and deep, and I seldom found something amusing but she was so upset over _that_? "Let me get this straight," I told her calmly as she looked at me in the most offended manner I had ever seen anyone look upon me. "You are upset, not because of how I feel but because you are worried about having to share yourself, in a sense, between me and the jutsu user should you agree to the connection?"

I perhaps should not have sounded so unimpressed with her concern because she pouted before opening her mouth to protest. I cut in with a toothy smile before she could complain. "Harper, you were told that the person who could perform the technique was unable to, were you not?"

"You said he couldn't complete it." She sounded incredibly petulant.

"Correct. The Twin Mind Jutsu requires an exchange. If the bond is formed from, say mutual anger or hate, the user commits an act of violence against the person he or she wishes to connect to, however, if its mutual attraction the user exchanges a kiss. I haven't been able to touch you for some time now and that is because my sand has been protecting me from the possibility of heartbreak. I believe that problem has been solved so if you are willing…"

* * *

><p>Harper's Point of View:<p>

"Wait…hold on, rewind and pause. _You_ were the person who could link with me this whole time and you never said anything?" I wasn't quite sure if this was real. I figured I fell asleep on the sand and this was just some really bizarre, and really good, dream. The kind of dream I would remember when I woke up. My thoughts caught up to me even if it was a dream though. "You can't do that!"

He looked at me in curiosity going so far as to tilt his head to the side. "I assure you I have thought about it." His voice sounded a bit tired and I could only wonder exactly how hard he had considered the option.

"But you're the Kazekage."

"I am." He wasn't getting it.

"You said there was a low success rate for the jutsu. You said people die." His eyes narrowed at my protest.

"So you think I would ask one of my shinobi to use this jutsu with you knowing that they may die, but that I would be reticent to use it myself?" It was a good point. "There is, in each village, Suna included, a plan to follow should a Kage die. Being a shinobi is a dangerous profession even with the alliance the great nations share so of course there are contingencies." Another good point. "Aside from that I would rather try to save you and die in an un-Kage-like manner than not try and have to live with the fact that I could have." Ok now I was just a puddle of goo.

"Sorry," I muttered. I felt like a scolded child but I didn't think it was undeserved.

"That apology I can understand and accept." Gaara's face looked slightly blank but there was a gentle upward tug along one side of his mouth.

"I do have two questions about this whole situation, if that's ok?" A part of me wanted to hide under a rock just thinking about the second question but he just nodded calmly. "Um, when are we going to use the jutsu? I don't think I am going to last much longer without sleep but if you're willing to wake me up every hour like before I am ok with that."

"It's not healthy to wake up every hour," Gaara said the words like he was thinking out loud but I felt it was deliberate. "And for the safety of the people in the village we should use it somewhere without witnesses, say in the middle of the desert. It is still a kinjutsu. Ideally we could do it now and should it fail, well I told you the consequences of madness and absorption. It would be better to have someone of my abilities outside the Village in case I go insane and to be honest I think that your bloodline makes you a greater risk than you imagine." I nodded warily. I made sense even if it was a bit sudden. "What was your other question?"

I definitely wanted to melt into the sand. Considering talks of madness and danger this was not the best time to flirt. "Never mind. So, uh, what do I do?" But as I asked my bloodline kicked in, I was interested after all. "Oh." I just had to stand there and look pretty apparently.

"Sorry it isn't more interesting on your end." Gaara's smile made it easy to see that he was not sorry at all. In the end I closed my eyes on the series of seals Gaara was forming and took a deep breath. There were worse ways to die than to kick the bucket kissing Suna no Gaara. The sound of sand dancing through the wind caught my attention as Gaara firmly announced, "Twin Mind Jutsu." There was a pause and I opened my eyes anxiously to see him hesitating.

_Ah,_ I thought a bit amused, _I doubt he has much experience kissing people._

It wasn't like me to be forward but the standstill couldn't last forever so I took the single step toward Gaara and placed my lips on his. At first we just stood there, lip to lip; his were chapped and cautious but I rather enjoyed the sensation.

Slowly, as if through a long damp tunnel, I could hear…something.

_Did she just fall on me? Yes it appears she did._

_The ability to see the future? That doesn't even seem possible._

_Dreamed of me when she was ten? Just what I need more fangirls. _

_She wants to be a ninja? I'll test her resolve first._

Slowly the thoughts changed.

_Will I be bothering her if I go to… what is it… hang out?_

_What excuse should I use today?_

_Sleep over?_

_Why can't I touch her?_

_I'm the one who can save her._

_I love her._

_I love Harper._

Thought after thought from the time we met until this very moment flowed into me. This is what Gaara thought of me all this time. I wondered what he was hearing from me. Would he hear about how I fangirl'd or how I hoped he really was real? Would he know the pain I felt from the treatment he received or the anger I had at the actions of his village? Would he know that I cried hysterically when he died?

Would he feel the thousand little thoughts and emotions I'd experienced from watching a fantasy show about ninja from another world or would it start where I fell on him in his office as the sun set across the desert?

"I heard it all." Gaara said quietly. Time had passed and I wasn't even sure when he stepped away but there was a faint smile on his lips. "I do have to say it's reassuring that you don't squeal quite so much anymore. And in regards to your second question, I would also very much like for that to not be our only kiss."

I felt myself blush crimson as Gaara smiled a bit wider. The run home was quieter; the silence only broken by the music playing from my iPod which had never stopped playing. I slipped upstairs while Gaara calmly walked into his office to fill out a report on the bandit incident. Cuddling into the blankets to ward off the cool desert night I could feel a soft buzz in the back of my mind. It was gentle, familiar and peaceful; a quiet white noise that I never wanted to tune out. It pulsed like a heartbeat and when I thought on it enough a soft clarity opened throughout my mind.

On the other side of that clarity Gaara would send a reassuring thought or tell me to rest and I knew that he was right there. This was our secret, our savior of a sin. But even if it was just for sixth months we had done the impossible and who knew, we might survive. We might go on past that marker. _This is just our beginning arc. _

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whew so this is, as one reviewer surmised, just the beginning. There will be more arcs but as always updates may be slow. Sorry for that. Thank you for reading so far and I hope to see you for Harper's first mission.**


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